A letter from February 16th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, How are you feeling? I’m really scared, nervous and anxious right now. It’s currently 3 days before A’Level results release, but when you’re reading this, you already know your results. I just want you to know that we did the best that we could at that time without making extreme sacrifices, so whatever grades that we get, you don’t have to be happy with it, but please go easy on ourselves. We tried our best. I’m proud of us. From now on, I hope you figure out your path. Wherever the current takes us, we’ll make sure to go with it, keep afloat and never drown. Best wishes (like really, best wishes for us, I’m hoping to hear good news from you), PastMe

Epilogue

4 months later

Update for my PastMe!

I did - well, relatively okay, in hindsight - but the moment I got my results, I was dumbfounded. The first feeling I registered while sitting...

Hte fo dsahn eth at tesa sluetr anre wsa lssca my of nneodmiptsaitp tclucngih yoorda,w sltli dgee at l,spi nrcroe othb the back my hte. .
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Vfeoturai furonuaettn rfo my a sse,nols of c c pcyshsi lla, thi,rsymec iaeuerttlr, a cgishnru asw most lealyr orf rfo a jbutsce ot ienseg d edntat dan. Gdear i a ym to btu etxepedc i loudc at i iecs,encs od od laets lwle etbter ofr ttuhogh rveen. Fro elrretuita as. . . Lti yuo ady iew crethae my "nife em tohb rlaelc nefrdi ym wnhe erh i tlod otnd'" iq adn we a do telerrtaui tdenetad eroefb nsoltotcauin r,royw axme: wlli ahwt. Os wgron 'hsse a of r,nwog hte nda na sbeauec yte ,a rdceso ,ertoh su neo tno c. Did si erlrttiaeu rsue, lslit a uevsbeitjc utbsjec ot i ees( e)?thre tbu a,gdre tahw. . . I ihst tonpigiainspd of efel uto a,ll swa eth mtso gaerd. And opst kwon ebfroe eymfls gniaa uoy got to oniprmcag my ymlefs awth? i to tsssre i evah lrylae uot rpsee. Era dna ppeelo ppeole ahnt e,m illw herte era be dmbrue slyaaw hwo amesrtr me naht owh. Appyh ee'rw unhgeo sa glno rvgeeaa si dogo sa gbine. Tihs ,itbah iythst ossy,iluer ospt etsl' lseepa.
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I,pnto si arnk oto arcfyli of otn ospint hgtilsyl abd, uot heerit 57 i ont eosrdc lhdsou vaboe altlacyu oodg rgaevea oto sith a atht 09, i icwhh osc,er ta. .
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Mnpiog, cecapt wto tpdps,ieoidna nvee hmuc as chkdoes a eacepparti ot sa my i i or acem of eltf dan resdag aterf ady. Agleern ofr ero,cs na for dan cfdtfuiil uxetpeen,dc to eht lbgyuara radegs i tmso asthm ofr veen oto! uesr wot bcutejs thsee sdroce reew e,rapp a vaeh a. Ofr us cna yuo ewer fo bcutjess a ,c beveile rodup htieshg rosdce i veer het ni eetsh coolsh ma lelyar that? 'vie wot. Tulry. .
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Tnwa in or a na reihte ctaf eewtneb i coser lol tpoin /c,d i that teh no otu to simunag olsa. Odog 'im ro lyrlae it eterhi i at ,csuk. I ssgeu a,m woh i atths'.
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Ym ot moajr ,57 rp gsiebtg a hiwt ni rsfit lpeapdi htsi hrtee i sa yourcn,t teh cocihe whti rvieiesisntu a nmmctiocaniou in of. Swa n,uytfoatulern asw n,su i h,oceic sdnaeti dan fro yb cjeteder leleyotmcp feodfre ym eocsnd tun g,iloooysc. U,ms em feodefr aie,ewnhlm sinbssue aanmeentmg. .
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A rof ot opne oncmamtnciiuso adn in olng eth reven aisd repusu a - eon nvee pu nfuny dm,era oy"u "eks,i a owh maec ot uroc,es ,efli ym uresenvi fo eteinegh gdeeer i ihwt a big otn reysa mdear - wehn yfinall i dah. .
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Gnemmtneaa eht i eth end uecrso ddeecdi cetpac ot in insessbu. Elda ot tufreu hte tnaw in parepsh siht em rehwe cdoul i eb isllt ot.
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Waayny c,ceoih ncosed be tbu my ni ettogn may oehcci ym ernve shti 'vie my ilef tfrsi. Sneocd cciheo teg ayawsl i aelntr,ysg ym. Wlle oh. Lgedian i atwh eivnoe,ttrnni felsmy em fo or rae xuec''ess ro ssenr''ao htese ujst to ts'i to caem rpphase 'tis apphsre a lla reetbt iedivn up iwht psehrap tph,a fmrocot. .
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Scairre eth ya,s reunrct 'mi luylpcaefe nda rtemat? tjus wnrdo what erwerevh aoftl rty oeds tno stle' path elki to ti o,t lawasy ew em avhweetr no,. Hppay 'ltse be. Acn rof kas lal 'attsh i. .
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Le,ov.
Etfemuru.
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P. S. Ma i ,su rpdou 'im rlyael of. Etorsff i nto'w rfo hwo i rhda adn out orwekd we ,iths nwok tsidoucn. Ogse !no feil.