A letter from October 25th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey dude if you’re reading this then that means that you fucking survived one of the toughest times in your life so congrats dumb ass you made it. Also you should have gotten a letter from me already today but that one was a little sad so I wanted to write you one that will maybe make you laugh. So first of all please tell me that the orange cheeto isn’t still president because if so then you and the entire country is so fucked. Remember all those funny tik toks you watched and the memes you saw about the fly on Pence’s head during the vice presidential election?.. yeah those were the shit. Also bro did we grow an ass yet because right now I’m flat as hell in that area I really look like a fucking pencil. Anywayssss... let’s not make this letter sad by reminding myself that I have no ass. OMGGG and is tik tik still a thing or was Abraham Lincoln (reference to the cheeto) finally able to take it down?! Also are we a skinny legend now? Because rn all I have to do is lose about 20 pounds and it’s over for you bitches. Also dude did you get arrested yet because if not then I’m proud of you for not getting caught because come on we both know you are no angel. OMFGGGG bro please tell me that you, carter, Gavin, Scotty, Danielle, and Rachel are still the mother fucking shitttt because dayaaamnnn we are literally all each others ride or dies. Mostly the die part because you know a bitch be depressed. Ooo ooo ooo pleaseeeee tel me that were not still hella broke and that we have a sugar daddy or some shit. Speaking of shit, did you ever beat the it out of shreeja or no because if you didn’t then this is your reminder that the bitch deserves it and you should pull up on her rnnnn. Jk.. heheheh. Bro did you fix our relationship with mom and dad? Bagshhdhbdhfgsb IK DUDE IM LITERALLY LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW I THINK I JUST PEED A LITTLE. I KNOW WE STILL HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY ISSUES. Idk how I typed that first part with a straight face. Ha I crack myself up. Oh and dude do you still think that getting run over by a fed ex truck would be the funniest way to die because yeah it is. Btw this is just to let you know that what you remember life being like now is not a dream. I just saw our cute neighbor again and he waved at me so I waved back and then turned around and tripped but guess what I don’t think he saw it so maybe we still got a chance but prolly not. You also should not be listening to country music. And if you do then you better hope that I don’t catch you slippin or imma reach my hand through the future and slap you in yo stupid ass face. But girllll you best be listening to your fuckin bops and ion care what nobody tells you, heavy metal is the mf shit. And ok last piece of advise rq: don’t try to measure up to everyone’s expectations or it will just make your life a living hell. Live in the moment and party like there’s no tomorrow. Also stay woke and always make everything very cashmoney. Peace out amigos ✌🏽🤪🖕🏽