A letter from October 14th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, i am 18 dont know if i have depression or what i am fat not satisfied with my self with no willpower and no dreams nothing just a blank mind i feel like dying everyday everyday i just want to disappear the only thing that is holding me back from ******* my self is my religion and the thinking about my mother and my family if just had another brother i would not have being writing this because i would have been dead a long time ago i have no problem with anyone in my family or friends by my family i mean my numan fardeen aapa maheen qurat and saliq baya , munna mariaand my uncles my freinds support me in everything and my family is also very good i dont know why i want to die maybe because i am just too weak for this world i dont blame anyone for my suicide just myself its me who couldn't to anything for my family sorry family i haope you live a better life than me please be strong and font do what am i going to do just bear with the world .Nomi help my sister in every turn in her life i am handing over the the share of money and responsibilities to you , we were not brothers by blood but brother by choice boi you can do this dont trust brat or muheeb he is not a good friend he just knows some of my secrets thats why i still talk to him no-reason .bye to world i think that's all i want to say dont trust anyone just go i thought i was something different but i am the same weak *** boy i dont know nothing about this world no self help can save me from my self just .i dont have confidence in my self ii dont want anyone to have a low confidence like my .lately i have been forgetting every thing i just ended up fighting with one so called bashrat saleem, and i dont regret it no non non no . if i am still alive and i am reading this and i haven't completed the tasks below just **** yourself future kamran just die 1.know how to talk ,know more about the people around yourself,more self confidence,no more the old kg and the new fit kamran .with the hint of islam and no hentia and nofap if you are still fight for these causes you may live but if not then you shall die !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!