Hello from 20th Dec 2005

Dear FutureMe, Hello. I hope you are still around. I sincerely do, as in the end - I do like you. I hope that you are still writing. Have you gotten off your lazy arse and done what you needed to do? Did you finish those books? I am writing one at the moment. I hope you can sit back at your time and have a look through it. Remember the good time you had writing it, the sense of adventure - of creation? Do you still play? Is LoaC going strong? Have you come out of your shell and professed to the ones that need to know that you are the raging poof that you are? I hope you have. It will be easier for you. Remember me? I am a writer, musician, dreamer, gay, your best friend and your worst enemy. Remember how you felt this week - you got accepted into Oxford to read History this week, your band started going again, your novel too? You were doing what you always wanted to do - create. You were starting to use your talents. Remember it? Do you still go down to Varna harbour and sit under the mosaic of St. Nicholas at the Lighthouse? Do you still sip cold Bulgarian beer from plastic cups as the sun sets over the sea and throws pink paths towards you and a few friends, a few friends who understand? Do you still go and sit on the sand at night and drink menta with people you have met that day? And do you still taste the adventure on the wind? Has much changed over the past 5 years? Have you stopped caring that you will die? True - you will be 5 years closer to your last breath, but has the dread that you wake up with in early morning, in your hypnopompic sleep gone away, when you feel that you are worthless and useless? Do you still think too much? Have you written THAT song? Are you as happy and confused as this week? Are you thinking what I am thinking? Do you feel weird that you are now reading something written by yourself 5 years ago? Does it sound like a different person? May be it wasn't written by you... Are you still awed by the wonder of life the way that I am? Youthful yet prematurely aged? I hope it's great where you are. I hope you are doing what you want to and what you know you need to. With much love and regards, You