A letter from August 21st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, 21/08/20 when you're reading this it'll be on your 18th birthday. right now my dream is that when I finish school I'll do a year of college then I'll drop it and moved to another country, America if I'm lucky, maybe if I'm stretching thing Zermatt, Switzerland. I would have published some of my books by 18 and my TikTok will have a lot of followers. I also have a plan to maybe move to Canada to live with pip and get into acting. I hope you don't feel numb. this very moment Gwen messaged me saying shes blocking me because her mental health is bad and she catn deal with this ****, acting like im apart of it and that cait is gonna help here. like **** them, I hope you have way better friends now. I am sick and tired of living around toxic people and the the good one ditching you then turning toxic. like an ice lolly, youll be eating the top but then the bottom of it starts to melt and runs all over your hand making it sticky. Don’t take life too seriously, no one makes it out alive. right now I don't want to be alive but I hope you're alive when you get this. I hope you realised your worth because right now I am just drowning and no one is beside me to pull me out. there are just people standing there watching. it's hard. and I hope it is so much better now? I feel like there's no reason for me to be here. I have o friend and when I go back to school I have to deal with the cheating boys and the stuck up chavs. everyone in this stupid ******* world has screwed me over. for a couple of weeks, I acted like I was fine and that i was happy with my body but I wasn't. and people believed I was happy. a lot of **** is going on and I dont know how I'm going to deal with it. I hope you've forgiven yourself for your mistakes. I haven't yet because it was so dumb and it ****** up my life but I pray to god you have forgiven yourself. if not I don't know what I'd do now. I hope you opened up and told to truth about what happened with your brother. I hope that it isn't still dragging you to the bottom of that lake like rocks tied to your ankles is the ******* coronavirus gone? it better be lifes a *****, 13-year-old Dee xxx