A letter from July 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hello Jessica this is past-present you and when I mean present I mean this present that I am typing this in, The date is 7/27/2020 and we both know that 2020 was the one of the most ********* year I mean you remember Kobe and Gianna ***** right oh and the time where a world war almost started because of that **** presidents who we will not name and most importantly that ******* virus that no one tool seriously I mean why was so hard for the ******* to wear masks hopefully everything is better now also you remember those BLM protest the ones that started because of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Elijah McClain and so many more unarmed black women and men and sometimes kids. do you remember that live the one where that dude filmed at the protest and you saw the tear gas and the rubber bullets I mean that **** was scary as hell oh and remember how the media would try to start **** with the BLM saying we were looting and **** like that wasn't the people that hate groups starting **** and it was proven like come on, but lets not get to worked up I'm typing this for you to umm see how your doing if your reading this or if someone else because you are dead we are dead idk I don't want think about that I just hope your well. Anyway how's it going I really hope you still answer to your self and laugh about it because its funny when you do that, are you still into Hamilton or did you forget I swear if you forgot you better put this down and grab your phone listen to our songs You'll be back, Alexander Hamilton, and My shot while your at listen to helpless and I mean it go do it right now I will know if you don't so do I will be waiting. Now that your back how was it omg I bet it was so cool like wow I know you tried to do the dance ok ok ok lets get back to the letter, so what do you do for work if you have a job I hope so because that the only way you will see this I really hope we are not homeless I know that was one of the biggest fears we had that after school and after papa and granny died we would end on the streets because of everything I really hope that's not the case anyway not trying to bring down the room but speaking of papa and granny I know we have had a troubled relationship with them and pretty much the whole family I know you probably remember the names they called you because of the weight and some of the comment like the one granny use to say a lot "when you get so fat I' putting you in the fair so we can make money" Yeah I know that one hurt It is hurting while I am typing it and I know it hurt when you lost that connetion with papa and when he started calling you fat or all those other names I know it made you feel like **** I mean what kid has to go to school and get ****** with just to go home and get ****** with some more like that **** sucked. I really hope that your mental health got better I really hope you didn't go through with the attempts I hope they went away I hope your able to leave me behind and all the pain I hope your happy with some who LOVES you like really LOVES you rather if its a women or a man because I remember when you came out as pansexual I know that was scary but I hope you are living your truth. I hope you got help for the eating disorder I hope you where able to find a weight that like and are proud of. Oh and how is Jeremiah doing I hope he was able to come out to and live his truth with someone. By the way how are Raven, Sydney, Kenn I hope they are ok I hope you told why you had to distance the truth how they made you feel. Jessica I want you read this when your in a good place where you can t be affect I want you to read this a be like Im ok finally ok I want you to know that when I right this that when I leave you that I am really sorry I caused you pain that was really not my intention I hope you known anyway I love you I hope you take and love yourself and also I hope BTS is still your favorite band Because Namjoon and J-Hope where everything anyway love you see you later. LOVE, Jessica