A letter from July 26th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Life is not that great and sometimes I feel like im not living my teenage years, I have a few friends, no boyfriend as usual ahaha and low self estime to the point were I don't even go to the river with my friends and cancel everything, it sucks... Today I went to ****** and we spend there 3 days, for u to situate in time, it's sometime after quarentine and all that drama... I'm currently in corona summer ahah back to the point, i had a really good time but a kinda miss my old vacations and most times I wonder how it would be if I was in ** with my dad, I truly miss him and how he always had the best advices for me and give me attention when I has felling alone, you know... I wonder how he is doing and if he still thinks about me like I do for him every night... Sometime I feel like I have nobody to talk to and I keep so much things for me, it would be so much better if he was by my side... I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by not talking to him because he did things that were really mess up but it really hurts being almost one year without earing is voice, I want to call him so bad to tell him everything that has happened and how I miss him but I'm so afraid at the same time. I hope he is ok... So... Another topic cause this is getting to depressing ahaha This summer I'm trying to be fit, so that I don't feel so bad about my body so I have started today a diet with my sister, it is probably not going to last a long time but I still want to try it... This is going to be the one where Im going to get my summer body ready, I'm feeling it ahah You know what, I still don't know for how many years going to put this buttt I trulyyyy hope that I'm in a better place, future me!!! You better love yourself more that I could ever, have someone how loves u back and have a life that u truly like!!! I think I'm going to cry now but its ok... Seriously, being happy is the best u could do for us ahaha I feel that I'm not letting myself live and us more than anyone know how mess up that feels so pleaseee be different than me, thats the only thing I ask... With so much love to my Future Me Us You Whatever ahaha Please tell me that this is not embarrassing xD