A letter from July 26th, 2020

Hello future me. I hope I am doing well, I hope I have not fallen into another depressive state, and I hope that I have another few years free of cutting? Perhaps maybe I’ve gotten a little bit wiser, healthier and more social? Because still, I am unable to come out of my shell or my saddened moods. That maybe the way I think of myself and the world has changed, I could only hope, yeah? How is Mrav and the others doing? They’re okay I hope, and Mrav is getting a little skinnier rather than the plump potato he is right now, right? How is the world, we’re not getting another World war three scare, are we? Or is is the world at least slowly melting into peacefulness rather than the **** we’ve had to deal with in the last few years? I don’t think the world would improve in any way, because, humans aren’t the best, and not really as smart as we all would like to think. Did I finally get the horse am hoping for in the next two years? And did Oliver and Mishka get their puppies? What I expect in 2025 is the Mars landing, right? Did they finally land, or landing just as I anticipate it right now? Did I ever become intimate with a woman or am I just gonna be alone forever just as I am right now? Did I get a job and finally become a functioning member of society? Did they finally make the chickenosaurus??? I ******* hope so, I’ve been waiting for that thing for the past 5 years and I don’t have the patience to wait another, I need more Dino-like avians in my lifetime. But, let me ask myself this question. Me and Myhra are still friends? That she has not strayed away slowly, that maybe I have made myself new friends, got a partner, and still am not freak anymore? Maybe that in the next five years I’ll be financially stable enough to get my own apartment, and hopefully for the love of God get out of this forsaken county and move to Canada like I’ve always dreamed of, where I can take walks without looking over my shoulder every second. Is my relationship with my family okay? No one died I hope? Did my dad win the case? And am I happy, do I think good of myself unlike now? Did I contribute at least a little to humanity? I do hope the majority of this is true. But if it’s not, and I’m a danger to myself, and that I’m reading this in 2025, please continue to read; If you feel down, or on the verge of ending your life, I beg you to talk to people rather than shut them out, I have made that mistake before when I was sad, and was almost fatal. Don’t be stupid, I know I’m stupid and will continue to be throughout my life, but there are things you should know how to do before hurting yourself. I hope that you will see this, and rethink what you wanted to be five years ago, who that person hoped to be. A sad sack that lives alone with her parents or a woman with a positive future ahead with many hands to hold? Please don’t do anything dumb. Think before you speak, think before you do so you’ll get your **** together. I wrote this letter in hopes that it’ll encourage future me to be better, and not to be an *******. Take care of yourself, must be a promise, okay? :)