A letter from July 24th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hi! It’s me, from 2020, a recently graduated incoming college freshman. Let’s get to it. Times are super tough right now to say the least. I’m moving into my dorm at UVA in less than a month and I can’t help but be worried about what I’m leaving behind. First and most importantly, my family. Mom is going through some really hard financial issues (nothing we haven’t experienced before), but this time I’m old enough to understand and be concerned. Since she hasn’t been getting money from Dad’s social security cause I turned 18 and without working she has no income. It’s scary to see where we are as a family right now and I can’t help but feel alone in this situation. Megan is moved out and in her new house in Richmond so it’s been just Mom and I lately. I have been working my *** off at the Surf Club just trying to make some more money before I move to Charlottesville pretty much never home unless I’m sleeping. Mom is really trying to find a job and I’m so proud of her for that. She’s has an orientation tomorrow with TJ Maxx and hopefully everything works out. Is it still like this now? Does she have a stable/reliable job yet? Did she go back to nursing? Today I even offered to pay for her nursing license reinstatement. It would only be a few hundred dollars and that’s just two weeks of working at the Surf Club. I don’t want her to be stressed out about money anymore. I hate it. It stresses me out. I wish that she kept with nursing and didn’t quit so easily. It ******* sucks here. I feel like I’m relying on myself constantly, but maybe that’s a good thing. I just want her to be taken care of and I can’t do that when I’m living three and a half hours away. I hope that things start to get easier. How is Lyla? Michelle? Megan? Taylor? Is Lyla still the cutest little bean ever? Honestly, I already know the answer to that question. She is. I can’t wait to watch her grow up. Make sure to catch every second and cherish it. She really can bring the biggest smile to my face instantly and I hope that never changes. Is Michelle still at the American Cancer Society? How is Taylor and Ty? Are they married yet? Any kids? How is Megan doing? Is she happy? Are you guys close? She would be out of college by the time you’re reading this again. So will you in fact. How was UVA? Was it everything you hoped for? Did you actually graduate from there or did you transfer? How is med school? Are you in med school? I might as well add Wiley into the mix. Wiley is the current boyfriend (obviously I don’t even know why I said that), but I really like him. He makes me so utterly happy, but I can’t help but feel like I’m hiding so much from him. Almost like I can’t be myself around him because of the huge socioeconomic status gap between us. I mean come on he goes to a private school, he lives in a huge house, it’s everything that I don’t have. Can it work? Does it work? I just don’t want him to judge me for what I don’t have. I hope that that changed when you’re reading this. I hope that I have finally accepted that it’s okay to not come from money and that it doesn’t define who I am. It’s just so hard when you compare your lifestyle to someone else’s. Oh, I almost forgot to even bring up COVID-19. Is it still around? Did they find a cure? How badly did it mess up your freshman year? Is it even real? (lol) God I hope that I don’t have it right now. Do we still have to wear masks everywhere? Friendship status! Have you talked to Megan or Sarissa lately? Do you still talk to anyone from high school? Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the answer is no. Lately I have been feeling completely alone when it comes to friends. Other than Wiley, I have barely seen any of them and I guess it’s going to be a new normal because I won’t be going to school with them either. Finally, I hope you’re happy. I hope you made the best of your undergraduate experience. God I hope that you have found your home. Not physically but mentally. I just want to live a life worth living and I hope that you have done so. Continue to make the best of the time you have on this earth, give back, and indulge yourself. You are so worth it. I love you so much. Don’t forget that I always have your back and I know that we can get through anything! Peace out, Your past self