A letter from July 16th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I received a letter from 4 years ago today. This is a great exercise I believe! There are so many things that change in these many years, it's crazy! 2020 has been a crazy year. Nobody expected anything like this could ever happen. 'Unprecedented' is the word for the year I guess. We are in the middle of a pandemic and the spread has not even peaked yet in India. At this moment, we have 1,005,637 cases here and stand 3rd in the world! Nobody knows when this is gonna get over and what the 'normal' is gonna look like. I have received 2 such letters so far, one was about all the hope I had for 2018 self and the other one, which I received today, was probably written on a bad day. It's so generic that it can be applied to my current state of mind too. I do want to do a lot of things in life but I always feel I'm not putting any efforts to do that. In the last half-year, mental health has been a concern for me. I have experienced what it could do to a person. I try to be and do better. But don't always succeed. I will work on this and get this sorted. I understand that this could be a big hurdle in achieving great things in life. I don't have a definition of what 'great' means. But I know I'm gonna do some great things in life. I have always wanted to do something unconventional and I want it to become a practice of life. In 5 years, I'm gonna be 32.5 years old and I don't have a vision for myself. I have become much of flow kinda person where I'm open and fluid about things. But still, in the spirit of this letter, I'm going to list down some things I hope/wish/plan to do: 1. Living dual life: city life and a quaint life (somewhere in a small town outside of the hustle of big city) 2. Work: Hopefully working on something I like to do like some social initiative and technology. A good mix of both 3. Partner: I'm still not sure what I wish for at this front. I do like the idea of having a partner but my expectation is a bit fancy. I hope this expectation changes and I finally settle with the idea of a partner. 4. Travel: this pandemic has made traveling so uncertain. Like I don't even know when and where I'm going to travel next. I had so many plans for this year! I hope I can still accomplish them by the end of 2021. I've still not found my definition of 'settling in life'. I don't know the parameter at which I will stop seeking. For now, seeking feels adventurous. It'll be really interesting to see what 'Future Me' thinks about this! Love always, Manali