A letter from July 6th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, You’ve been going through a lot for years. It started when you are ******** assaulted by your childhood friend. You’re so young back then, you didn’t know what’s wrong. Years passed, you’re now a teen. You realized that you don’t want what happened to you. It’s a mistake. Surviving with depression and social anxiety. You’re scared to even go out that your parents started to get worried about you. You thought they cared, but they actually don’t. They even made fun of what you’re feeling. You’re skipping classes, students seeing you crying early in the morning in school, wrist with cuts, deep eyebags and lots of misunderstandings with your parents. They are having a hard time understanding you. 49,-!!3, it’s not your fault. Please stop hurting yourself. Please make a big step ahead of those memories. ****, I don’t know what to write anymore.. my tears just keep on falling. I just want you to know that you did well :) you did well surviving, and so, keep surviving. It’s hard.. really hard, I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Will they blame me from what happened? I don’t want it. Im just 7 years old that time.. it’s still clear to me what exactly happened. Keeps on playing like a television in my head. Deep breaths and all. It’s hard to breath while im writing this but i have a faith (maybe a little but y know, no one can tell) if you survive, if you finally learn how to keep up with the waves without drowning then, don’t blame yourself anymore. I hope you’re now happy. I hope you achieved what you dreamed of. I hope you get in to your dream school. But if waves are to high for you, that the water seems to be colder than before.. then, just know that im proud of you for keeping up to a lot of *********. I love you. Im proud of you. You did well. Rest now, i guess haha. - you Code (49,-!!3)