A letter from July 5th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I'm not sure were to start. There's a part of me hoping that you don't exist, but I know that I will power through the next 5 years to maybe send myself another letter. Maybe I'll start with explaining how I feel about the world, myself, and how I feel about the future. Right now the world is hell. A pandemic has started, Donald Trump and cops are basically like nazi's against anyone that supports BLM, and work sucks but that part doesn't matter. There's so much going on in the world that I feel so insignificant, that my problems don't matter. But they do matter my feelings DO matter. But it's hard. Now onto how I feel about myself. Right now I feel empty. Like I'm forced to be happy but really on the inside I'm lonely. I'm sad that I'm lonely but I'm not alone I have Sophia, Diana, Sophie, all my coworkers, but it's just hard. Sometimes I wish I could skip all this suffering and see what it's like to move on but I know I'm too scared for that. I don't want everyone to be sad which is selfish of me to think of others even though I'm the one being affected. I guess that's mainly how I feel. I just feel empty. I'm excited for my future and my potential but right now I feel so empty. I wonder in 5 years will I find the one who I get to call my own? I know the person I find can't be my missing piece, I have to be whole before I meet my person. Right now I feel whole but hollow. I'm missing something but I can't seem to find it and I hope you find it. Maybe I just need some time to think to myself. Anyways I just have a couple questions to ask you: 1. Did you ever move out and get a dog, cause I really want a dog. 2. Is your music taste still weird like mine hahaha 3. Have you found a boyfriend yet, cause man you gotta stop hooking up and crave **** it aint worth 4. Have you found your purpose in life yet? As of right now I think my purpose of life is to make people a little more happy. The world is in crumbles right now and the world needs a little less negativity and more positivity.