A letter from July 5th, 2020

Dear A Happier Person, I'm so lonely. I can't breathe, it feels like I'm suffocating on my depression and then sadness overwhelms me and when I'm not sad I'm just empty, and I'm going to put this public for attention because that's all I am and all I'll be for now, but you're gonna be great, I can tell, you're gonna be happy and strong for me okay? I love you so much and I'm sorry that this where we are right now but it gets better, it has to, this can't be it, there must be more to it, someone or something will give you happiness and if someone tries to disrupt your happiness you leave them, it's not a 3 flag system it's a 1 flag system and on your way to happiness your gonna meet a lot of people and they may not like you, but that's ok. You're gonna be ok, you're gonna need to pull through for me ok. People love you, you're loved and you may not know it but the number of people that would risk anything for you is insane. He may not be the one for you but that just implies that the one is out there. There are so many things that run through my head and they scream and they shout and they're deafening me and yet I still feel empty, just so numb and instead of owning up to it, I lie, I lie about everything, who I am, where I'm from, my *********, my looks, my age, everything. I hope that you've stopped lying but realistically you haven't and you've probably been outed at least ten times. I'm sorry that we're here now I don't know what to do, I don't know anything.