A letter from June 29th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, so my email is pretty embarrassing. Yes, I was in sixth grade when I made it... Yes i just finished my seventh grade year so I'm definitely still pretty dumb. I'm 13 right now, and I just saw a Tik Tok where somebody else did this. I'm glad I saw it now and not later, because you're at the exact age where I would want to send myself a letter to. I don't know if you're going to be able to see this because you are now 18 and probably changed your email to something completely different, because frankly the username is inappropriate... although it is pretty swag 😎 (if you forgot, I am being sarcastic, and using the emoji as a joke). So, now that you are 18, and probably still not sure what you're going to do in life, I'm going to tell you what I think you would be doing. You're probably going to laugh and call me a stupid seventh grader (going into 8th grade in a few months b tee dubs). But, I planned you were going to an exceptional school. I have these very I hopes that you are going to Harvard, Yale, all those big shot colleges. Maybe you're going to Duke?! I heard that is a good school, I hope you were accepted. But, if you don't go to one of the most ideal academic colleges, that's fine ( 😒) as well. Another thing I planned out is I hope you work at a place that you love. Like, I know you haven't started a career yet (duh), but like maybe you work at a store that you like so you can get discounts off of everything that you would purchase so you can be smart and save money for other things during college, like affording meals and buying some weird crap at walmart that will make your daily life easier. I also hope you haven't done anything stupid, like get cancelled on social media or anything. I have already done some bad things in the past, and I am so sorry for that. It isn't you or me anymore, it was completely wrong and it's past us now. Hopefully you haven't lost your morals as well. I believe that your thoughts about human rights and being a feminist sticks with you forever. Oh my god!! This letter is pretty frickin depressing, so I might shed some light. I hope you have a really cute backpack, and that you carry a lanyard around just to make the clicky clatter noises whenever you're walking or some stupid stuff like that. I also hope you have some hip (hip also being used as sarcasm) nails. Like, long ones, but not too long?? Yanno? I have so much planned out for you that you probably don't even remember. In third grade, or some year in elementary school, I made a whole folder dedicated to the college Yale for you. Hopefully whatever college you go to, or if you even go to college 😱, or if you are taking a leap year... I hope you're happy (and making that bank honestly). Hopefully your thoughts and knowledge about the world have expanded, and you have found your iNnErPeAcE (the words "innerpeace" are also used as sarcasm, i'm making fun of myself). But honestly, I hope you're happy. Maybe youre gonna live in an apartment?? Maybe a dorm? heck maybe even a school bus. But can we stop wondering about you?? Like honestly I want to talk about myself because I am hella fine if i do say so myself 💅🏻. So currently, i'm 13 years old. I thought I would feel cooler right now but I'm totally not. I think I'm pretty popular, maybe I'm not but who cares? Well there is a lot of crap going on right now as you probably remember. So it's been a few months into the coronavirus, and i've hung out with my friends a little bit. I have a lot of friends right now, but my main friend group is Ivanna Ortega, Peyton Ongley, Tilly (Matilda) Skiles, and Juliet Eddy. If you aren't friends with them now, let me tell you a little bit about them. But in advance, if this is a touchy subject, I apologize. But stop being a little ***** for 10 minutes of your life and read this. Because this is your childhood, not some **** that happened just recently or before you read this message. Hopefully you are still hard core and not a sensitive little *****. But anyways, let's start with Ivanna Ortega. Ivanna Ortega is currently my best friend in the whole entire world. I think of her as a sister. We met in third grade. She was on my bus (bus 7), and me and Alexandra Quili, who is also still my friend to this day, asked her what grade she was in. She said she was in third grade but me and Alex were obviously shocked because of how petite she was. Me and Alex basically harassed her and dragged her into the school. "This is the way to the gym, this is the principals office..." and so on. We would have never even known that we would become best friends. It feels uncomfortable using the word best friend because she feels so much more than that. Not ******** though, I'm not lesbian or bisexual... I think... anyways. We spend most of our time together. If we still aren't friends to this day I swear to god girl, WHAT THE **** DID YOU DO?!?! I am so sorry for my foul language but what the hell. Go make up for it, go get her back!! Unless she like, did something unforgivable like kissed your boyfriend or slept with chuddy. Although I'm 100% sure she wouldn't do that. She is like my soul sister, so don't mess it up. Anyways, we have Peyton. I always acted sketchy around her in sixth grade but she is so fun to hang around with. Me, her, and Ivanna always play Minecraft together an hang out with Bradley by the pool. She's also super spontaneous as we always do cool things together. Although she annoys me sometimes. You know what? all of these girls annoy me (besides Ivanna.. shhh) sometimes but it's ok. I'm also annoying so I can't talk no ****. Anyways, we have Tilly. I mean she has an old sound and stuff but she's chill. We all like to hang out together. But it's not like we are always together type of people. And we have Juliet. She so sweet and kind. She's kinda like a flower emoji typa girl. She's also athletic. I just have a question like.. do you like girls? wether you're closeted or not do you know for a fact you are attracted to girls? Or am I just wishing I looked like Paget Brewster and stuff like that. I have only crushed on boys so far, and ever fantasized or romanized about boys, but sometimes Like... well you probably remember. And if you have come out, if you are lgbtq, how did the family take it? were you disowned? I'm pretty sure they had to take time to get used to it. I'd imagine it would be really awkward. That's a really dumb question because it's not like I can really get an answer to it. Anyways, speaking about ****** attractions let's talk about a boy. This boy you might remember, but I've always had this crush on him. I say I don't now, but I always am thinking about him 24/7. And when I did like him I felt so happy, I ignored all the red flags. I soooo regret everything I have said to him, I was such an *******. But, do you even remember his name?? Do you still like him or think about him now? And if you're reading this with your boyfriend that isn't him... I am SO SORRY!!!! OH MY GOD THIS IS AWKWARD HAHAH... yeah... and if you are that boy, with blue eyes and blonde hair... Yeah this is still awkward but whatever half you two worked out. But, if you're single... That really sucks and I apologize for everything I just said, but if that didn't make you feel sad you go girl!!! You don't need no man! Anyways chile... there will probably be a lot you forget but this is basically the stuff on my mind right now. If I want to talk to you again, I will write you sometime. Maybe you'll be annoyed, maybe you will like it but I couldn't care less. Because I know that when you get older you'll enjoy this. Hey, and if you are still sad all the time, I just want you to know you don't have to leave to feel better lol. You are loved wether you feel it or not. I'm glad you made it to read this email!! Have a nice rest of you life, CIGARETTE FREE ?!?!??!? p.s, I don't really apologize for cussing. I cuss today just like any other 13 year old.