A letter from June 28th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Well, this is unfortunate that you received this. Here's my random thought of the day: On the choice of being married, or not being married, I think I will choose the latter. Why? Simple. I don't think I'm suit to be a good parent. Again, why? Because all my life, I have been raised in a household that deals with issues through anger and control. Not really good qualities to show your kids, huh? And there were times when I pictured how it could have gone smoother. But sometimes, I just can't picture a more sensible way of resolving a conflict other than how my parent/s did, and it annoys me because I know that there are better ways of clearing the air. Thus, until I have found a person who I am quite certain to be the best husband/parent ever, I will choose being single over being miserable. I'm just saying. Even so, people can change after marriage, and that is what scares me the most about settling down; finding that "right" one. I guess it all comes down to fate, huh? And faith in Allah :) Please never stop praying that you'll be fated with a person you need and want. Oh, p/s: I am also noticing that I now rarely flinch whenever my dad raises his voice unexpectedly. It's just sad how I'm beginning to get use to it. I shouldn't have to... I hope five years from now, you're doing fine. I really do. Please take care of your mental health as best as you can. I love you.