A letter from June 28th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Thoughts at 2 am lol Life is so weird everyone has a complex life and i'm just a small part of it I want to be in love with someone who loves me so bad I want to just be sure my life will end up well and i will be in love with a man whos so attractive to me and who thinks i'm beautiful and we make each other happy I want a cute boy to tell me i'm beautiful in person I'm literally a side character to everyone else I literally don't matter i will never make a huge impact on the world or a large number of people I feel like no one can truly be inspired and change because of one thing I want to jump forward in my life to when i will be beautiful I want to jump forward to when i am married and we are in love and truly happy I want to look at someone and cry because i am so in love with them I am so unimportant from a big perspective like if i never existed no one would miss me and nothing would change do shallow people have feelings do they think deeply like this I am not ready to have a traumatic experience I just want something to make me so happy that nothing can bring me down Why is it so easy to be so sad nothing can cheer you up but there is always something to ruin your happiness Every choice i made lead up to this moment and who i am I want to be sure about my life I want to grow old with my husband and not have either of us die young If i was in love and they died i see no point in continuing life after that Future me if that happens please stay for my family friends kids they need me imagine how heartbroken they'd be if you died keep going trust God there is always a way to find happiness You are beautiful no matter what and looks don't matter in the end you have to be beautiful on the inside 5 yrs from now seems so long it seems so long to wait Love you