A letter from June 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Well hello! first I will ask my future self - how are you while you're reading this sentence? Feeling good? Feeling sad? Feeling unlucky? Happy? Right at this moment in time at 22:24 on the 27th of June 2020, I have absolutely no clue at all about how you are feeling, I mean how could I? I cant see into the future! I just hope you're reading this at a time where you might need to hear from my past self or a time where you can look back and see how far you have come! look at what we've achieved already in the past year?! flying to Amster*** ourselves, getting our first job, meeting a million new and great people, traveling more with all the ups and downs we had, falling in love, falling out of love, we've got one more year of college and that is us! GRADUATED! (I hope we did btw) (on another side note, if we didn't graduate past me will still be proud of future me because WHY THE **** NOT, YOU ARE AMAZING AND YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR AT LEAST TRYING or for whatever reason we didn't, we are only human), we've gained so much confidence in one year, we've learned more about ourselves than we ever have before, we've had great *** and we've had bad ***, we have enjoyed life a little better - understood it, we also had a FEW bad days so what did we do to make them better? we cried, got angry, said few things we maybe shouldn't have had said, but we all feel like that and that's how we've learned to live a life. I know we are gonna do great things in the future, I really do believe in us! I've done the intro now so what will I talk about? what could I possibly talk about?.. yeah, a lot of things... so... I don't know if you will remember but these past few months, we've been in a sort of pandemic. it's pretty mad, gave us a lot of time for ourselves to try to be fitter and better which has been really good because we've always been into fitness but just not had the time to do so and the money or material. if you remember we were thinking about studying something to do with sports? did we change our minds? are you reading this while you've got 1,000 essays to write? an exam to study for? DO IT AFTER YOU READ THIS! or did we decide to keep working in a spa or even, did we completely change our minds? I'm intrigued to know! I know whatever we decide to do would have been a good decision! yeah, so a pandemic, Elle... we're part of history - now how cool is that! obviously its really bad that it happened but it's pretty cool at the same time. I don't want to talk about how the pandemic happened or how we felt during the time, because to me right now it feels like it was such a short time and we were really good in that time period. I'm not really sure what to say because I feel like I don't want to mention some things that aren't really necessary because I'm actually kind of scared that it will bring up bad memories or ruin our day, you get us? I believe everything happens for a reason and life is just what it is and there's only so much we can do about it. I kind of want this letter to be about us alone and only positive vibes (do we even still use that word or is it died out? and also I really wish I could use emojis lol) like I am just kind of unsure?... what I will do for the sake of being true to ourselves is look up a Pinterest pin of a quote about how we feel and maybe leave it at that? as I am typing this, I'm just not fully healed and that's what I can say at this moment without going into depth "I have endured, I have been broken, I have known hardship, I have lost myself. but here I stand, still moving forward, growing stronger each day. I will never forget the harsh lessons in my life. they made me stronger" you know that was quite hard to look at the Pinterest board, I seen a lot of memories that brought up bad memories. what I need to keep remembering that its what makes me who we are today and we can only grow and learn from it, that's the best we can do and its the best that anyone could do in our situation... I hope when you're reading this that you're thinking - Elle you are a stupid idiot for letting this get to you like it had the night you're writing this. who was it that said she wasn't going to get in-depth about this whole situation? oops lol, I really hope Elle that you're doing okay and I hope that you're are healed because we really do deserve it <3. on our liked playlist we will shuffle right now and see what song we get played because why not lol - This City, Sam Fischer. That's a good tune, does it bring back good memories? I also love how I am asking ourselves questions, its a good way to write right? I don't know, we know I'm not a very good writer and most of the time we don't make sense lol. well be reading through this and having to read a sentence twice because it doesn't make sense lol - it will make ourselves laugh I hope. There's literary way too much to say, all I basically want to say that I hope you've had loads of love, small and big adventures, experiences that you've never experienced before, I hope you can be yourself always and not let anyone tell you differently, I hope you're still filled with emotion because that is what makes you, you! and if someone tells says you cry too much - tell them to **** off! I hope you love yourself more and just maybe you'll have someone just to love this same - if this is true no matter what you're doing right now and no matter if you have fallen out, I want you to tell them that you love them... if you don't have another half the first person to come to your head right now I want you to tell them the same! tell the whole world if you're feeling up for it. We thought of a sad-ish quote, now I feel like I should type a positive/happy one "BREATHE RIGHT NOW AND REMEMBER WHO THE **** YOU ARE! QUEEN!" I think I am quite happy with what I wrote, I hope you have a good rest of the day or night... I need a **** right now so I should probably go and do that lollllll, Love yourself more and more, you're doing great! lots of love, millions of it!<3