A letter from June 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey again. The one you wrote to yourself in the summer following the ending of high school got delivered not to long ago. You read that letter and found it a bit dramatic, but bittersweet in recalling memories from that time. It was also interesting thinking about what concerned you at 18 versus how it all ended up turning out at 23 when you read that letter again-- how somethings changed, and how some things stayed the same. If you want to read that again, go back to your old gmail account. It's starred there, the only email that is starred. Maybe I'll also archive it on the private Instagram you made as a photo diary collection. I just hope you can reread that one too. I wonder how the world is like in the time you are reading this. The current year is 2020, and you will remember it's a hell of a year. Australian Wild Fires, Kobe's passing, Black Lives Matter, and of course, Covid-19. This is the year you earned your bachelor's degree. Although at the current moment, the achievement seems rather underwhelming, I hope you do know it is a significant achievement. Again, I'm proud of you. I don't think you let yourself be proud of accomplishments, and instead label them as mere expectations. I hope whatever projects you have going on right now, you are proud of them even though you may feel it's nothing but what is expected from you. As mentioned, I'm writing this when there is a current global pandemic. Although it is something unexpected and tragic, it allowed you to create alot of memories with your family. Daily walks together, trails, appreciating nature, spending lots of time with them, especially watching dramas together all day. Your sister got straight A's this year too. I hope she's doing big things when you get this -- she's a hell of a lot smarter than you tbh. I hope mom and dad are doing good. You're love for your family only grew during this time. I hope it only grows more. I wonder what kind of career you decided to go with. Right now you're taking some time off during the pandemic to rest while at the same time deciding what is the next step. You have some ideas but haven't made any commitments yet on that next step. You always thought that a 9-5 right after graduation was the obvious course to take, and it was all set and ready to go, but you realized it wasn't the environment you wanted to work in. So you ended up taking a break off work, and you're enjoying this time off. It made you wish that you could have done this previously. I hope you remember to take breaks. I hope you do keep in touch with the coworkers you made at your jobs from this time, as they really made work fun. When you get this letter you will be 28. That's insane. A full adult. Whose married? Who has kids? Are you seeing anyone? Are you married (haha....)? Where do you live? I wonder... Like the previous letter, you haven't really experienced 'love' yet. You're still waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet. I hope by 28 you do find someone worthy of your time, someone, who you can confide in, cry with, smile with, everything and anything. A life partner. Don't settle for less though. You love saying men ain't **** because they aren't-- until you find the right one at least. To be honest, you met someone that is just like you in so many aspects, so many similarities, and have easy, flowing conversations about everything with this year. I wouldn't go as far as saying its love you feel for this person, but you definitely feel as though there is something special about him. You don't know how to so and so 'flirt' with him so all you've been doing is bullying him, so I don't really know what will happen. He may just end up being a friend, but he is the first person you felt this connected with. He's also incredibly intelligent with big dreams, and I genuinely hope he achieves them. I wonder what he'll be doing, and if you just drifted or remained in contact until now. I hope your friends are doing good too. Compared to the last letter, you've definitely evolved with the friends you currently have. By the time you read this, you probably drifted from some of them, but I believe the ones that will stick around you will be closer with than ever. Right now in 2020, you've finally learned how to have intimate talks with your friends about life, love, ambitions, fears, and just emotions. And it feels good. Remember to continue to do that. I wonder what kind of hobbies and interests you have while reading this letter. Currently, you've fallen back into your old nerdy habits (anime, manga, (rn its haikyuu lol), kpop (ikon, how's B.I is he free yet? making music? married?), and gaming (animal crossing!! go find the switch and check up on those villagers haha)). You always seemed inspired to write these messages to yourself after watching something. This time, you watched the anime version of your favorite manga, called Orange. I think this story resonates with you as it forces yourself to think about whether or not there's going to be regrets you feel in year's time you would love to fix so you can live in a world without regrets. I think that's one of your biggest fears, scared of regretting not doing enough. Go watch it again if you can. This show is one of the few shows that actually brought you to tears. I hope these letters somehow, like the show, reach the past me in a parallel universe so she can live a life with no regrets. You're listening to the OST, specifically, Miran by Kobukuro as you write this. Go and read the lyrics, it made you tear up. (******* weeb lmao) To wrap up, I wish you're genuinely happy with the life you have. I want to again remind you to cherish the things you have and let go of the things that aren't meant to be. Life can throw curveballs and unexpected twists, but it truly is what you make of it. Don't dwell on what can't be fixed, but make the most of what's in front of you. For any bad days, there are so many more days waiting for something fun, happy memories, and smiles. I'm proud of everything you've accomplished up to this point, no matter how big or small. You're destined to do achieve great things. Don't forget that you have an abundance of people you love and support you, and never take advantage of that. Be happy, and again as the previous letter said: Respect yourself, love yourself, be yourself. I trust you have done that because I trust in you. And it’s ok to make mistakes. I forgive you.