A letter from June 20th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, firstly i hope you're in a good bad ***** place and are thriving because you deserve it after this past year. i hope you've fully learnt to love yourself and put yourself first rather than seeking validation from others and still take time to value you as a person. i don't want to go back on this year are write about it again because i know you'll remember this year probably for ages, however, let me remind you that although you were sad for 8 months, you finally got out of the funk and have been loving life for the past 2 months and i'm so proud of you because it's the best feeling when you are smiling basically every day and have only cried once in these 2 months!! i'm not sure whether i'm gonna send this to myself in 3 years or 5 years because either it'll be after the first year of uni (hopefully) or at the end of uni (**** me how is that possible) . i do have some questions though: - is there a vaccine for corona or has it basically gone? - do black lives matter more now or has hardly anything changed? - are you happy in the course you're doing? - who are your friends? - do you miss this time? - are you doing better or worse? -- i really hope you're doing better - have you finally learnt to not burn yourself!! - are you taking time for yourself or have you found someone? one thing i do want to go into is the situation with papa..do you feel comfortable now or is it still awkward with how you feel objectified by him? during lockdown you felt like he was looking at you weirdly and as if he wanted something although he is your bloody dad. he made you feel like you had to cover up when you were just trying to find your style and wanted to see what you felt comfortable in and what wasn't really your thing. i really hope it has sorted itself out and you don't think about having to worry about other people looking at you ******** although you should feel free to wear whatever you want and how much skin you do or don't show without men catcalling or looking at you with the desire to do something. i hope shelly is doing okay and has recovered from her phase of depression and has powered through because she deserves so much more and is such a strong girl. if she is still struggling then i hope that she knows that she still has a strong support system and that it won't go away ever. i hope ela is doing great too and has finished her uni course with flying colours!! i wonder if she's found anyone or is doing great even alone. i hope mama and papa are also doing good and are still happy as ever even without us. lastly, although i struggle to say the phrase i love you, i hope you love yourself no matter what. L