A letter from June 14th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, i'll be 18 in 2 days, i still don't make my own choices and don't represent myself, but it's alright. you've been through a lot and survived, and you always will. these days i just feel like i'm running in circles. thoughts are haunting me everywhere, every time. all i think about is my future, don't know which college to go to. i studied really hard for all exams but i feel like i should've done more. i just want my future self to be okay with anything and just go with the flow. to not worry, regret or overthink. i blame myself for everything and deep down i know i shouldn't but i just can't help it. lets hope in 5 years everything will be better and life is gonna treat us better. يارب انت تعلم مافي قلبي فحققه لي، ونعم بالله