A letter from June 10th, 2020

whats up *****, its ur more annoying past self. i dont check my email so i doubt ill see this but like, hope ur not dead or depressed or smth. if corona aint over yet and america hasnt gotten its **** together, i hope ive thrown hands. 13 + 5 is 18 so i should be omw to college. i hope im still friends w/ sims, tori, and sof. shaz is currently acting like a ***** so wouldnt mind if she gone, i hope she fixed herself. if im still fat at 18, do me a favor and slap myself for me. grammar is so hard ugh. anyways, if im still with tori and sims i should be omw to new york to live in an apartment with them. we need a strip pole installed and a cat. idk if im still bicurious but rn guys and girls r hot so... cuffed jeans and sweater weather. i hope im still bout to be a doctor or lawyer or some type of scientist. world is really ****** up rn and im slightly suicidal so thats fun ig. i hope hs went exactly as we imagined or at least close enough. mama and dada promised me a car for my 16th so i better be driving to school in a blue corvette. senior yr will be over and ill finally get to leave home yay. i hope mama is less of an uptight priss, idrc about dada cause he was gone for 5 yrs so... yk, bitter feels. i hope hidaya has ;earned how to act like a proper human being and stopped making me cry everyday. i hope humza is doing well and we r still close as ever. hajira shouldve graduated med school by then so tell her congrats from me. i hope us two have become closer and shes fixed up her mental/social health. life is really... bad (to put it short) so im trying to keep this light (dont wanna cry rn, mama is in my room). ill prolly send another angsty one thats filled with my deepest darkest fears but rn all u get is me being dumb. business as usual. this was lowkey kinda fun so thisll prolly be followed by a series of more letters. im sure this letter will spark some sort of mental breakdown or anxiety attack cause ptsd but ill get thru it like always. this is coming from the version of me when i was stuck with my fam for over 4 months and its really ******* me and my mind up. i feel like crying constantly. ive been reading a lot (books and fanfics) lately to try to get away from it all but its not working as well as it used too. anyways, bye for now. i really hope our plans came thru.