A letter from June 7th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, What the **** I’m writing a letter to myself for when I’m 20, Jesus I can’t even imagine making it that far. So, you’re in college right? I mean I sure hope you’re not in rehab or something. It’s so crazy to imagine that there is life beyond this moment, which sounds stupid but yknow. I wanted to write this because right now, for me, life is going pretty terribly. Nick dumped me 5 weeks ago, but of course the on and off talking made it worse. I unadded him for good a few days ago, so we’re gonna see how it plays out. I know you’re over it now, and hopefully looking back and realizing how much better you are now. Since it’s been 5 years, I’m sure you’ve dated again. Maybe you’re even heartbroken right now, I sure hope not. You’re probably just cringing remembering all of this, because Nick may seem like a distant memory. Hopefully you stand your ground, and do not settle for anything less than you deserve. You have so much to give, and I have no idea what you look like now, but I bet it’s great. I’m also feeling especially lonely, because right now quarantine is actually ending. I don’t really know how much backstory to give about corona, but basically it’s 3 months in. Places are opening up, we’re allowed to hang out in small groups, and life seems like it’s going back to normal. I see everyone having fun with their friends now and it just makes me sad, because I don’t have a friend group or anyone to see. I’ve seen sabeeka twice in the past few months, (I can’t believe it’s been 3 months since corona canceled life) and I saw Chelsea and Kinsey once. I know I need to be grateful for what I have, but I can’t help but be upset that I don’t have a group of friends I can go out with. Its unlikely you have the same friends now, as you probably have an entire new life in college. I wonder if it’s everything i hope it is, having fun partying and making new friends. Or maybe it sucks. But I mean, life gets better.. right? It’s weird to think you’re almost 21, hopefully you can finally drive. I haven’t gotten my permit yet because the DMVs are closed. It’s probably so weird to read something you wrote from when you were 15. I guess another thing that’s going on is the BLM movement, where there are constant protests and even freeways being closed due to riots. Things are probably a lot different now. I don’t know how much to share, usually id say what’s going on in life so it can be nostalgic. Well, is TikTok still around? Is Snapchat still a thing? Since the world is on hiatus there’s not really much to talk about that isn’t bad. And there’s nothing good going on in my life currently, it’s just uneventful. So you’re out of the house too, and currently I have no idea how I’d take care of myself. I’d assume you’re in a dorm, so how’s your roommate? I don’t really look forward to using a shared bathroom, so hopefully it isn’t as bad as I imagine. Overall, I just hope you’re finally happy. I know there’s a lot that’s happened in 5 years, hopefully mostly good things. But you’ve made it so far, and I believe in you. You may be in a dark place or having the time of your life, but whatever you do, stay safe, happy, and sober (don’t do drugs please).