A letter from June 6th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I can't believe im doing a freakin time capsule right now. Oh man is **** crazy right now. Its June 6th 2020 as of writing this, im on the tail end of COVID-19 (hopefully), George Floyd was ****** 12 days ago and protests are still going on. The Nation has never been so unified in your life. **** the world. Protests are going on in all 50 states and across the world. Hopefully police brutality isn't as bad as what you're seeing right now. Because this **** is heartbreaking. Stonks are going great. You're up 10k in 6 months. Total is 15k. Hopefully you're still doing this and you're in the hundreds of thousands and living your best life. **** please. Dad started doing stocks a few months ago. He's doing really well too. He just hit 8k (i think). Today you got mom into it as well. Starting her Robinhood account for her. Hopefully you can turn her 1k into like 100k by now or something. Friends and Family... Where to start. You've been talking to dad almost everyday for the first time since you left him in Vegas all those years ago. You like it. Hopefully he doesn't still think you don't like him. Because that's what you think he thought while in bahrain and michigan. But you loved him just as much the whole time. He's in Vegas again after Philly. Married to Nora and his bagillion animals. God bless nora and her animal love. They are happy. That makes you happy. He's finally got someone after all those years of being single. You just bought him a Baseball cup mug thingy for fathers day. Hopefully he loved it and still has it. Guess you'll know eh. Mom. Man oh man mom. She just moved to D.C. to basically be closer to you. She works at the Navy yard. Just got approved to that board for radar for like the whole united states. She's ******* it. Started dating Todd again. You're in a little phase of hating every guy that alex and her date. Mostly cuz they all tend to suck and hurt them. Hopefully Todd doesn't do some dumb **** cuz you like him, and god does mom deserve a ******* MAN. She sold the house in michigan a little while ago. She's happy for what i can tell. Alex alex alex. She moved to D.C. with mom about a month ago. Mom's losing her **** cuz of her. lol. Last night apparently she got drunk and went outside to smoke and forgot her apple remote, water bottle and stuff and then went to the wrong door at 7am and started banging on it. The cops were called. You haven't brought it up yet. Its kinda funny. But you feel for her. She has no friends here. Knows nobody. Paperwork for your BAH is STILL trying to be notorized. Hopefully she can move down here with you and make some friends. **** i dont care if she becomes friends with Kaitlin just somebody. You're worried about her. She doesn't seem like shes in a good place. Just left connor the best thing for her in literally forever. Hopefully she's found somebody in DC that's made her happy and can handle her ******* crazyness. Whiskey bit her like a week ago. She's over it. Hopefully Whiskey and echo are still kicking. Man they are ******* awesome. They hate each other but you cant get enough of em. Friends... Well this is a short list. You've got Mike, Tyler, OG, JR (*******), Cole, Kaitlin W. and Brandon R. You already know Mike, Tyler, OG, JR and cole probably wont last. Hopefully they do. You've been friends with them since 2014/2019. Even though you haven't met them yet (except cole) and they are complete ******** to you like 90% of the time but they are the oldest/ best friends you got. You dont tell them pretty much anything with isnt really a friendship but hey, you've played games with them for the last 6ish years atm and you've got a weird relationship with them. But you'd be lonely af without them. They mean a lot to you. They distract you. Kaitlin and Brandon. Brandon hates Kaitlin rn because of Carson. Not exactly shocked. You were mad for a lil while but have let her make her own decision because shes a big girl and can get hurt if she wants. You dont agree with her and carson but he leaves in a month and youll pretty much be all she has. So you get over it and just be there for her. You haven't talked to Brandon in pretty much a month. I think he's over reacting but its whatever. Yall are just doing your own thing. It's needed with how much time you two had spent together. Hopefully here soon Brandon gets over it and we can be the trio again. You want it. **** you need it. They are your actual best friends and you kinda need em or else you'll fall back into your hole of isolation again like senior year and itll suck. Hopefully yall are still best friends to this day. If not, ******* call or text them or something. Reach out. Now you.. Your life is a complex mess. You're depressed but not because **** my emotions. You're about to hit two years in the Navy. It's kinda like whatever. You dont know if you're ***** stay in yet. You want to because youre scared of the real world and what its like without the security of it all. But you dont because you dont have true freedom. You're stuck. Still working on wings after like a year cuz you're lazy af and cant find any motivation for anything (what a shock). You're an airman and are taking the test in September. Hopefully you made third and have your wings by then. **** by now if im still in I hope youre a second class or even a first class. That'd be nice eh. Loyola would be proud. You kinda look up to him. You know he's got great advice and actually wants the best for you but again youre lazy. It'd be nice if you guys kept in touch. You still have a crush on like a million people. Karina, Amila, Kendall, Kylie, Caroline, Clarie, Nina, Emily, Holly... Jeez you really got a thing for K's huh. Well hopefully you ******* started dating someone and really enjoy it. Cuz rn you aint enjoying ****. It sucks. Do Better. Be better. Youve listening to a bunch of music writing this. I'll list a few just for a ****** throwback playlist binge. Dreamin' (the score and blackbear), One kiss (Calvin Harris and Dua lipa), Bow Down (I Prevail), Animal (Neon Trees), Dead Man Walking (City Wolf), Nothing (John Newman), Calabria 2008 (Enur), Just got paid (Sigala...), why are you here (MGK), Row your boat (Yelawolf), I.F.L.Y (Bazzi), I am defiant (The seige), Fire (kids see ghosts), Florida, Bill withers, and so so much more. Hopefully you still have your ******* rockin spotify playlist and are jamming to these bangers to this day. hahaha everyone says this but by then youll be listening to something prolly completely different that I cant even imagine rn. Or you're listening to the same thing and thats a lil weird but okay. You do you. But to end this off I just hope that when you read this you are happier than I am now. Im sure we had some crazy *** times in between then and now. Hopefully you haven't gone through anything absolutely heart breaking but Im sure you have. Im sure you handled it like you normally do and kinda shut off and take like months for it to sink in and really hit you. Hopefully you read this and reminisce about good times. Maybe looking back on now and think of something that Im not and actually wish you were back in my shoes. Hopefully this is humbling. Hopefully you still have hair because its a serious problem right now. haha seriously please still have hair. Hopefully this brings back memories that you maybe haven't thought about in a while. Hopefully the world isn't in a ********* like it is now. Hopefully you read this. Hopefully you aren't dead. Because you realize that life is ******* insane and that anything can happen. Hopefully you can show the people you wrote about this and hopefully they can laugh or cry with you. At the moment this is my world. Why dont you write another and reflect because this is really good for you. You're 25 now and if you are in the same place you are in when im writing this hopefully this gives you the ******* motivation to go out there and ******* live. Because rn im not enjoying this and im not sure i could do another 5 years. "***** is scary, but not living is ******* terrifying."- Me ************ Love, you P.S. I used hopefully a lot and hopefully you don't in the next one. :)