A letter from June 5th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, it’s June 5, 2020. Lost all the boys a couple weeks ago. Someone talked some BS on my Instagram account and they all decided to blame it on me. At this point in my life, you know Imma gangsta, so I’m like aight whazz happenin, link me. Needless to say, I snapped on everybody and nobody tryna do something serious, all talk. I just turned 18 and I’m slowly overcoming the *** addiction. 50 Cent, G unit, The Game. A message I’d like to try and convey is that I’m understanding beef isn’t always the answer to everything, and if I could have that mentality a couple years ago life would of been a lot easier. But if I can focus on that mentality by the time your reading this, which I doubt, you can do anything you put your mind to. If I flip on someone right now, I’d say it’s important to be a stand up guy than calling other people like all these guys do. But I’ll try to work on not fighting at all, because at the end of day what do I need to prove. I already did a lot of stuff for these guys who turned on me, Grade 7 Sam Khera, for Aasees, then got jumped by 20 people when I was all by myself. Grade 9 Fought that guy Uriah for who I thought was my best friend, Harman Sandhu. Rupali. Grade 10 all of us ****** up Garry guys, at the McDonald’s hill, for the boy Mohit. The Page guys beef, I got hit on the head, electric baton’d on the left hand, flipped around and mas’d on the face. A girl, Juneet Bains tried teaching me to calm down with all that beef ****, but by the time I realized what she was talking about it was too late, she stopped talking to me. Grade 11 Keerat did some snake **** to Govind, and I stopped talking to him, which lead to me hanging out less with the boys. The last time we were “boys” was at Headway guys, Gurjot’s beef on dirt road behind my house. Mohit had just got his car, White Lexus GS350. Me and Keerat’s differences eventually lead to me distancing from all of them because they started hanging out with him without me, and I believe that to be the root cause of why they reacted the way they did when they saw those comments on Instagram. They didn’t bother to reason, or ask why I said that, (I didn’t my account was hacked and I had proof), they straight started talking big and I tried to be chill about it for a couple days, until they called and wanted to meet up and that’s where I couldn’t control myself anymore. I snapped and then never heard from them again. So far atleast. We stuck at home cause of Covid-19 but when we get back to school and they see me face to face we’ll see who’s saying what. They don’t have guts like I did, I always started **** with other people for them and they slowly intervened. It’s too easy for me to pick up **** and start bustin at anyone who wants it. I’m trying to change but sometimes the urge of letting myself loose is too much to handle, but Im getting better to control it.