A letter from June 4th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, How are you feeling? Are you happy yet? Do you still have to fake smile and fake laugh around family, even though you genuinely want to? I get it. After all, we have been through a lot. But we have good things to look forwards to. For starters, we just met June. I feel we could have something real with her, I’m interested to see what comes of her in time. We also have to look forwards to Mom and Travis getting more serious. I know we don’t know Travis very well, but we do know he’s a good person. And that’s enough for me to give him a chance at being father figure. We also just got our CNA license, so we should be getting a job soon. I wonder what we will go with after CNA. I know we’ve been thinking of paramedic, RN, and police officer. These are what we’ve seriously considered. Regardless of what we go with I hope we are satisfied. And know, you shouldn’t feel stuck in a job you don’t enjoy. Remember how we always said we don’t want a job we would want to take time off of? I also hope we’re still friends with Asian, Taye, and Bernie. These guys are the OG homies. No matter what happens between us, I will always appreciate the bond we have. I also hope we stuck through with trying to bulk up and work out. Have we tried to go to therapy yet? Do we even still need it? Or have we learned to let go? Did we ever find out if we have any mental issues? I know we questioned a few things before, like bipolar, depression, OCD, ADHD. If we were diagnosed with any of these, did we take medication for them? And was it as bad as we thought it would be? That was one of the biggest factors as to being seen before. I just hope we have let go of some of the anger and sadness we hold. Or at least learned how to express it, and not bottle it up and let it fester within. I hope you still remember our favourite quote as well. Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. That’s applicable to all stages of life, don’t forget it. I hope we haven’t lost anyone in our family or friends. I don’t know how well we’ll be able to take more loss. What ended up happening with the reopening of society after Corona Virus? And how far did the riots go after George Floyd’s *****? Hopefully a race war didn’t start like people imagined it too. Hopefully world war three hasn’t happened yet, that was kind of big at the beginning of 2020. On a lighter note, did we ever learn to ride a motorcycle? Remember how we always wanted a fast racing bike, that would be so dope if we go through with it. How has growing our hair out gone? Did we let it get long or did we cut it? Did we pierce our ears like we were considering doing? What kind of tattoos have we gotten? I hope we are still singing and rapping. It always was one of the best ways to release emotion. How has our surgery progress gone? As well as our teeth. I hope we are finally able to smile with teeth. I’m starting to run out of things that I may want to hear in the future, or at least think about again. I just hope we learn how to be happy, that’s the biggest thing. Hold on to memories, if we do that then the things we remember will never die.