A letter from June 2nd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, So I found this website on TikTok and I thought I had to try it, especially now, when I feel like our country is falling apart. I hope you remember what TikTok is because I basically live off of it right now LOL. Anyways, I have so many feelings about what is going on in the world, but it is so hard to talk about it with my friends and family. I know I should not feel ashamed about how I feel, but it does take a toll on me and is bringing out the absolute worst in people. It is 6:53 p.m. on June 2, 2020. We are still in quarantine from coronavirus and I'm BORED AS ****. I'm also trying to find a new job so I don't have to work at Dairy Queen anymore, but it is so hard right now to find a place that will hire me. I need to save for a car so that I can take it to school next year too, so that is also stressing me out. I am pretty sure we are on day 80 of quarantine so hopefully, it doesn't last much longer but everyone is already talking about a second wave in the fall. I hope that doesn't happen because I want to go back to West Chester so badly. I miss my friends and Lauren and Cam so much. We also have a new roommate, Kelly, that is replacing Angel and I hope that she's cool! I made the Dean's List this semester and that made my parents proud. I worked hard enough to earn As in all of my classes, except for one B in chemistry. UGH, that class made me want to die. I love making them happy by reassuring them I am capable of living on my own and doing well in school. So far, I love my major. When I go to class and listen to lecture, I just know that I picked the right one. As of now, my goal is to go to grad school to become a Physician Assistant, and I hope that it works out. I really try my hardest in school and focus as much as possible. I hope that didn't change. We also get our own rooms this year, which I'm excited for. I hated having to wake Lauren up every morning when I went to my 8 a.m. classes. As I said, I really hope we are able to go back to school this fall. It is up in the air right now, and we should be hearing back on July 1. If not this fall, we will go back in January (spring semester). Part of the reason why I am frustrated is because the online classes they provide are a lot harder than they seem. We've been doing online classes since March and I've learned that I would much rather be in the classroom than sitting on my laptop at home, but that's my preference. My mom has also been working from home for the past few months, and my dad has had off from work every Monday to avoid too many people working at the same time. I don't know how much longer this will last, but hopefully not long. On a sad note, Cameron Frantz and I broke up a few days ago. I've been really upset and have had a hard time sleeping. I really thought that he was someone different. We used to hang out all the time and go everywhere together and just make memories. One of my favorite nights was when we went to the pagoda. I had to tell my parents I was going to Bethlehem so they would actually let me go (if they knew I was going to Reading they would **** me). We were only there for about thirty minutes until we both realized what we got ourselves into. I'm pretty sure someone was doing crack next to us, so we just left LOL. But I had a great time. Another night, we actually did go to Bethlehem at the lookout near Lehigh. There were a few other people there, but we outstayed them. We just talked until we were the last people there, and it was so dark out, so all you saw were the lights of the city. I don't even remember what we would talk about, but I just wanted to spend the whole night with him. Another one of my favorite times was when I picked him up from a party he was at last summer, and we just drove around for hours and ended up on Knight Road. We ended up walking on the trail next to the road for hours. We laid down and looked at the stars. Then we drove to the reservoir parking lot right by my house to watch the sunrise and fell asleep HAHA. I drove him back to his friend's house the next morning (he was barely at that party). Don't tell mom though, she would ****** me. He made me so happy and I was always so excited to see him, but some of thie things that he said to me at the end of our relationship really hurt me. He told me I was awkward and didn't make him laugh anymore. That honestly is one of the worst things I have ever heard someone say to me. However, when I told my mom and dad about it, I felt better. I've just been waiting for an apology. I don't know if I'll get one. I miss him so much, and I miss being with him and just having fun. I still love him so much, my heart hurts. If it's meant to be, we'll find each other again. Anyways, my dad is also going through a hard situation at work. He has the option to continue working for Channel 10 or take a buyout. I'm pretty sure they're offering him a lot of money. I know he'll make the right decision, it's just hard seeing him so stressed out. There is also a huge Black Lives Matter movement going on right now. It started in Minneapolis and is now in Philadelphia. Today, everyone posted a black screen on Instagram and we were all supposed to be silent on social media and only spread awareness to the movement. So far, I've signed some petitions and shared other posts. There is a silent protest on June 4 (2 days from now) at the intersection of Main Street and 663 (so Dunkin'), and it is only an hour. I am a little scared to go just because of coronavirus, but I know it is the right thing to do. I know a ton of people are going to be there. It has just gotten to the point where I had to delete social media off of my phone so I wasn't tempted to look at all of the negativity. I'm trying to spend less time on my phone as it is. There is also a lot going on with Trump and how he is now considered a predator. Legal documents were leaked from Anonymous regarding these accusations, as well as Jefferey Epstein's. I hope this is all cleared up by the time I am reading this. I also re-did my room and I absolutely love it. I changed it from that horrific purple to a light grey. My mom finally let me have a TV too so I feel more mature LOL. On a less serious note, Olivia is on the phone with me right now and she is so mad about what Don has been saying in the group chat HAHA. It actually got pretty heated earlier because we were talking about politics and what has been happening. I hope I hang out with her and Sydney later. I seriously need to de-stress. So basically that is what is going on in my life. Coronavirus, Black Lives Matter movement, college, my dad, and breaking up with Cam. Well, I love you Kell <3 Please stay safe and keep working hard. By the time you get this, you should be in grad school studying to be a Physician Assistant! Let's get that bread *****, we got it. P.S. Talk to mom and dad as much as you can. They really like being home with me during quarantine and don't want it to end. But hopefully by the time you are reading this, coronavirus will be long gone. Just reach out to them because I know they miss you. Also, tell mom that she has one more strike before you take her to the retirement home (that's a joke that we have right now, see if she gets it HAHA). Okay, love you <3