A letter from June 2nd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hello. it's me, 13 year old Giulia. I'm going to be writing this in italian too, but I'm starting off in english cause i can express myself better in this language lol. so... hows life? you must be 18 years old right now. wow. you're a legal adult. I can't believe it, you're so grown up, but I still hope that you have a somewhat "childish" and joyful soul. In general, i hope you're happy. Let me explain my current situation. It's currently the period of the corona virus and quarantine is starting to be lifted. This weekend i might even be able to see my friends yay. But i am not able to finish my 8th grade school year. I'm really upset about it, but I'm starting to accept it. After all, this situation with the pandemic is something that i can't control, and i should't feel guilty about it. However, I wish i could have cherished more my last year of middle school. This school year went extremely well (especially when i used my phone in class with Claudio tehe) , but if i would have known about the virus, i would have made so many more memories. I would have made sure to remember every single detail of my last day of school. I would have had fun in middle school for the last time. But unfortunately, this year i can't say goodbye to Besozzi, i can't thank my friends for shaping me into the person that i am today, and i can't look back at my school and be grateful for all of the memories i have made so far. It's such a pity, but at least I'm living in future history book context. I'ts currently 3 am while I'm writing this, i just can't sleep and i finally remembered to write this time capsule. I'm having mixed feelings lately. I'm starting to feel tremendously insecure about my body and how i look, and I'm constantly comparing myself to all of the other gorgeous girls around me. I believe social media is really affecting what I think of myself. But It's maybe just because I'm ugly lol. I'm also feeling insecure about the fact that no boy has ever liked me before, or no boy has ever came up to me and just sencerely complimented me. Also seeing how my friends always have boys running after them and noticing that they are both so much better than me just really hurts. Actually, seeing how every other girl around me is better than me hurts. Why would any boy ever want to be with me? Why would any guy ever like me? I'm not that special. I don't feel special at all. I'm just another girl living in this immense planet, and out of all the other girls in the whole world, why would anyone choose me? And i feel like i can't talk to anyone about my problems, because i don't want to put my issues onto other people's shoulders or i dont' anyone to worry about me. I don' want to be seen as the poor girl that has to constantly talk about her many problems in order to feel accepted. I would prefer to be seen by everyone as the happy girl with a hige smile on her face all the day that doesn't have any problems in life. That's what i think of myself, and i truly hope that 5 years from now i will feel much better about myself than i do now. I really hope that you love yourself, Giulia :) Let's talk about some other, less depressing things lol. Music: i'm currently listening to When The Wisp Sings and Roslyn, both slowed; sad girl hours lol, as i said, it's 3 am right now. Currenly my favourite artists are Joji, Anson Seabra, Tyler the Creator, M83, Powfu, Lil Peep, xxxtentacion, Bazzi, Tha Supreme, Harry Styles and Khalid. I'm literally scrolling through my playlist right now ahahahha. My two best friends are Martina Baldassarre and Aurora Todaro. This year (the 6th of April) was also the 1 year "anniversary" of me and my ex best friend Sydney not talking to each other lol. I'm getting over it more and more, slowly but surely, every day. Now onto some questions: Right now I'm trying to convince my parents to teach me how to skate, will they eventually let me learn? If so, are you still skating and learning new tricks? I really hope you are. Do you know where you're going to college this year? I hope you're going to college in the USA. Are you still in contact with your middle school friends Martina and Aurora? How's Luna, your dog? I hope she's still healthy and happy as usual. How's the relationship between you and your parents? I hope you guys are a happy and bubbly family. Are you still painting? Is painting still your hobbie? Did you finally start playing violin again? Are you still currently palying violin? If i'm not, i'll be angry with myself while reading this ahahaha. Do you have a boyfriend? Or did you get to be in your first relationship? If you went through your first break up or heartbreak, i hope the playlist i made for future usage came in handy ahahahah. How did highschool go? You mst be at the end of it, and i hope you realy had fun, and i hope that highschool is just as fun and life-changing as i think it is. And last but not least: are you happy? Like, are you genuinely happy? My current vision of true happiness is loving myself, so tell me Giulia, did you finally achieve true happiness? Do you love yourself, and do you love your life? Are you grateful for your life and everything you've been through? I hope so, i really hope so. Well, i guess I'm done here. Wow, writing down my emotions really helped me. I hope you're living life to the fullest :)) See you in five years :) Lots of love and affection, Giulia Miskovic, 13 years old, 02/06/2020 oh and have fun in college ;)