Some things you might like to consider...

Dear Mike, Its December 19th, 2005. I figured it might be interesting for you to see what occupies my mind. I find it funny that I've stumbled upon this just now. Foremost on my mind, and coincidently, today is Alison's birthday. I'm sure that in the span of a few years the events of your junior and senior years of college will not have escaped your memory. I will not elaborate, but after dating the girl for a year, and now being away from her for a year and a half.. I (we?) still miss her. I'm just intelligent enough to realize that I miss her for her personal and physical qualities , but also very much because of the way we parted and how it made me see things differently. Alison did a lot to shape me as a person.. or rather I endeavored to shape myself after realizing what I'd done to the girl. A year and a half later, I recognize this as a process with both positives and negatives. We never change at our core, but so much of who we are is nebulous. Its just unconscious.. our instinctive reaction to a myriad of ingredients that we could never understand. I felt the invincibility of youth, and thought that I deserved every bit of my good fortune. Simply put, I was neither conscious of, nor thankful for my generally sunny existence. I'd been afforded great opportunities, and embarrassingly, it was not my habit to appreciate those who had done so well to take me into consideration. I was selfish. I hope you are not. I feel very different from myself two years ago. I'm glad that I've become less arrogant, more considerate and thoughtful; I however, think I've sacrificed other important qualities to make these changes, and I'd like to have them back by the time you read this. I miss the unwavering confidence I used to possess, the almost constant energy and happiness. I realize that I used to display these qualities often at the expense of those around me.. that can't be the case in the future, but I want to feel strong, physically and mentally.. I want to be impossibly capable once again. This is not a wish of mine, but a goal. If things have not changed by now, they must, but I'm assuming we can handle it. ;) The other most prominent thing on my mind is of course grad school! I plan to be off in less than two months.. that’s crazy! two months and I will be living outside of the US! I'm a jumbled mix of excited and intimidated, but I think it is such a wonderful opportunity. Not that I truly need to, but I'll have such a great chance to start over, and at the same time I'll have my best friend to fall back on if I screw up. He will help me remember exactly where I'm from.. haha the middle of nowhere! :) I feel bad about leaving my family, but I see what my parents have done with there lives, they are generally happy, but they have regrets.. the worst thing you can do with your life is waste it. I could go on forever with this email, but its not about the specific detail. This is a chance to think about what has happened to you in the past two years; a chance to compare it to my past two years and see where it differs.. where its similar. Are you where you WANT to be yet? Are you HAPPY? What country do you live in? What are your plans for the future? How are your parents and your brother and sister? Have you found anyone SPECIAL yet? I hope your answers are positive. Those who burn bridges must be content to move forward, -Mike