A letter from June 1st, 2020

It's June.1, 2020 12:10 am yet here I am still online even though I have a work out session by 7am, watching tik tok videos and I saw a video about this website, now this is me JC, the broken JC, still haven't stitch up the wounds I bear, still planting hatred to the one who hurted me the most. Confused about life itself, why was I even created, here inside my room thinking of many ****, addicted to online dating apps specifically: Tinder, bumble, Bottled, and Badoo. At this time I have a huge need for a girl to love me, actually I don't really know, I just really want to be loved by an opposite gender. This year is a big mess, I still can't get over with the ***** of my most beloved person Ina, at the same time I can't forgive the person who let me down big time, Aki. I gave her all of my trust, we made personal **** (I don't have a crush on her tho) it's just that I got too attached to her, thinking maybe she's the one that would help me heal, a girl bestfriend I have been looking for my whole life but no... Well it's a big mess I told ya, JC in the future I hope you have changed a lot, not lazy anymore, appreciate everything in your life unlike now that I'm still immature to be honest. I hope you find the girl that you've been looking for, strive for the best outcome in your life. JC, love your self please, just love yourself, I hope by this time you could've healed already... I'm sick of being like this, just, please love yourself and remove all of that anxiety inside you, be proud of what your blessings and talent but don't be too braggy. Please, I'm sick of being like this.