A letter from May 30th, 2020

Dear Future Fitri Nurliza , I hope you are healthier now. Being sick is not fun huh. I wish all your sickness and illness have gone by now. Right now the thing that i want the most is to be healthy. I hope i am still alive by the time this email was send out. In 2020, i felt like my world is crumbling, almost giving up with life, so exhausted, tired of my fake friend who be friend me only for benefit. I really hope future fitri would not repeat the mistake that i did, doing stupid stuff that would obviously harm myself. I hope i have a good job and a better relationship with my mom now and i wonder if u have finally found the one?.. the one who would love you no matter what.. today is 30/05/2020 and i ve been single for my entire life. I hope you met someone who love you with all their heart, care of you, hug you a lot, bring you to the right path. In 5 year i believe faiq and farhan would enter primary school already.. by that time i wish they will love me more than their mak su..hahahhahah..because i really love them like my own children. Dear fitri i also hope your anxiety disorder have stop bothering you, i wish you wont have sleepless night anymore..and your ear annoying vibration thing hope they ve gone by now..even though i know it cant be gone but still we don't know right? they might feel bored vibrating in my ear and brain huhu.. i hope you are prettier and lose weight now. But if you re still ugly its okay because you know what, i know me , i not really the style who change my bad habit unless something terrible happen to me.. but still i hope you have change all those bad habit that you have. How about hakimi?.. did he get handsome now, is he smarter and able to enter university, i hope so, i want my brother to get the best education and be successful in life, i always feel sorry for troubling him, and order him around, but i really love him tho. Even if thing do not happen as you like it right now , i hope you keep going strong and keep pushing yourself for better because you are a fighter fitri, you don't know the word give up and i wish you to be able to fulfill your dream to travel the world one day.. Let just pray that I'm not die before that time hahahahah.. Every time that you feeling giving up remember Allah... and don't freakin forget to solat you hideous monster dahlah tak berjaya kat dunia nak masuk neraka juga ke?...i hope you can be more religious now than you 5 years ago. Last but not least, keep smiling, be happy, enjoy the view, appreciate the air you breath with and have fun with your love one, don't be a cheapskate, just spend your money, simpan duit takleh bawak mati pon hmmm, so just enjoy it while you still alive k... and i wonder if America doom yet? maybe china is concurring the world market now huh? and maybe my sister got a new baby girl? are you still bff with acap and betty? does any of your friend got married yet?. But you know what i think hannani would be the first one to get married and her children would be beautiful, hajar must be a freakin gorgeous elite by now or maybe she found her oppa and decide to move to korea, and mimi she might found her jodoh and decide to get married or she might just be a workaholic just like me and dont give a **** about relationship anymore?.. I wonder if nor would still love IKON hahaa, remember we fight few days ago because of k-idol so funny hahahahah.. and i always wonder by this time are you still in contact with Noviani? hahahah because V looks like she will left everything behind once she graduated... fatin nazurah must be settling down by now, maybe own a successful business, fatin farhana might be a housewive by now, paan wont let her working right, he better let fatin just goyang kaki at home hahaha.. and Alya must have found her jodoh by now, i wonder if it would be a UTM student, maybe budak tekno ahahaaah we dont know yet.. and Nissyah i hope she having a great life now, enjoy her money more, get a big salary, or maybe even starting a family ahhahahaha.....and i hope you still in contact with jamy and adeline.. they are like your soulmate in Uni, i never admit it but i like skinship. So i dont really mind when pervert adeline hug and come close to me.. i hug betty all the time hahahaha...and please i hope betty is having a great life now, found the right and the perfect man for her, and be happy...and for acap , i hope izzati has accepted your love.. i kinda have crush on you during this time, because we are close and do sweet and romantic things a lot.. I want you but i don't want to marry you hahahaah you understand that feeling and fyi i stop liking your brother since 2015... i like you *****, i keep mentioning him to keep you jealous and to hide my feelings and this is the truth.........Lastly for my mom and dad, im sorry that im not a good daughter, i wish future fitri is a great daughter that can protect and love you guyss... and please be rich future fitri.. even if you r still single please at least be the rich single that can buy anything that you want... i think thats it , love talking to you....FITRI NURLIZA BINTI SYAPRI Love, 2020 FITRI