A letter from May 25th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey! So I saw this on tic-tok who knows it may still be big in the future. Any way let get started on the big things in life and I may or may not spell check all of this is it depends. 1. I want to say its okay to not be okay just tell people how you feel don't keep it in it will only tear you down in the long run. okay so make sure who know either its a family member a friend or a boyfriend make sure to tell someone how you feel because this year you haven't told any on how you felt even in 8th grade and that's when you had the most panic attacks every so only even if you had friends you could talk to and had a therapist but it was hard for you to talk because you can to people about your feeling because that how you raised your whole life with your sister's gone hang out with your brothers and learning how to control your feeling because of the judgemental society we live in now and days. but tell people how you feel because this year you had to start taking anti-depression and let me tell you I never thought it would get this bad to point where I would have to take them because it thought i would be able to "get over it" and learn to be happy because of the people around me and yes I know how this letter seems like it's going all over the place but it's just I can't even write down what I'm feeling because i feel empty, most of the times and when I do I shut down or pretend I don't feel sad because i don't want to tell anyone and I keep it in and it's hard no matter what people say it's hard and it will always be hard. 2. wow I'm about to cry right now because there is so much I have to say but I don't know how to type it and it's really hard to type out your feeling. okay, the things are yesterday May 24, 2020, you told LLuvia you sister how you felt with her getting back together with her boyfriend even when she said it was over she still went back and that's fine I guess she must love to keep going back to him and that's her choice no one else can make it for her and it's her love life no can say otherwise not even me in time ill learn to get over it and learn to be open with her and be happy for who shes loves I know that our whole family will be one day in the future hopefully. 3. this one going to be happy but so ******* dumb sooo... I, Jiselle, and Violet decide to "play" dudes to get their nudes and **** why I don't even know. I just guess we all got bored and decided to do this. Violet got the pictures of the girls Jiselle was just there to help me come up with lines sometimes but I was the only playing them and getting their photos to let me say I didn't feel anything towards it I didn't care about the dude and I know its bad like really bad but so many dudes do it to the girl why can't it b the other way hmm? so that's exactly what we did. 4. you have made many friends and some of them are just "school friends" where you only talk to them in school and that includes. Dallen, Jocilyn, and others I can't really think about but those are only some of the people that came to my head, and yeah my friends right now are. Mariah, Hanna, Ada, Maria, Shabana, Jazlyn, Tayler, Agnes, Raven, Lezly, Lauren, Jiselle, Violet, Annamarie those are the only that can come to mind so guess that means those are the only ones I care about that are girls at least guy-friends i suppose could be Monroe, Michael only two boys I know that I can consider guy friends. That's all i could come up with... lies I'm just bad at writing my feelings