A letter from May 24th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, it's a Saturday today! I went out to walmart with my friends named Meiber,Catzee, and katie it was fun! but this week just been... really emotion like I thought of ******* myself... i cried and cried but honestly... i don't know if i miss my ex bestfriend karen we "had thing together" and were really REALLY good friends but she blew it off i been feeling better like i haven't been missing her as much. Also i could not stop thinking about my dad like... what if i didn't have this fear around men and fearing about getting raped i don't know :/ . My past life hasn't been good at all lost a lo of people but it's just the begging so i think i'm going to go something worst in the feature right?? like just a lot bad things like picking who i want to be friends with or hurting myself other people i don't want to be somebody's second choice or... somebody who views me like trash or my past even though half of me wants me to know that my past is " me" but then i want to forget my past and let it go. i just want to be in a free space without feeling this way without everyone looking at me like i think they do i want to be free happy normal i want people to love and not being known for stupid mistakes i did or "bisexual girl" i want to seem NORMAL i don't know what mean by normal but i think you get the point also... i want to be "vet" i don't know how to spell it but i think you know what i mean. i think by 5 years l'll be 17 if we make it all threw 2020 and coronavirus stuff then i don't know l'll be SO HAPPY to know by 5 years i haven't ****** my self yet or we haven't all died honestly i hope by 5 years i'm still holding rocky or coco OR one of coco puppies you know please 17 year old me don't make stupid mistakes. also i am bisexual which you know i like boys and girls and yes i think you already know i kissed 2 girls one was of course someone i didn't know her name was wendy and the other one was my ex bestfriend karen on valatines day in the school restroom at the dance she was my valatine too i really hope atleast one of friends that i have right now stay with me. i cannot wait till my 12th birthday! even though covid-19 ruin everything i still have hope things are going to go well. my lazy eye is getting worst everyday :( !! also coco and rocky are my two poodles <33 my cut bbs !!! also my aestheic is grunge,vintage, and baddie hope you still have that aestheic or.. something That looks GOOD oh ok goo bye feature me i hope i get this <33 i wished i could make this longer but i don't know what to type anyways good bye take care luv