A letter from May 23rd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I’ve got no one else to talk about this but you, because you’re the person who gets this the most—you’re me, after all. I feel so lonely and I miss him. It’s raining right now, and it’s suffocating. He’ll introduce her officially to his parents and pass her off as his first, and I’ll just be here forgotten. I know that I’m being a hypocrite, because I know you’ll introduce your special someone as the first one you had, too. But this is different because I know he forgot about me by now. He loves somebody else, after all. I’m sorry for bringing him up, Kristin. I’m sorry for disrupting your peace these couple of days. I feel lonely. I feel lonely. I could only hope you don’t feel like this right now, or at least that your loneliness is somehow alleviated. He’s just that type of guy. He forgets and moves on so easily. It hurts because he promised that I’ll be a huge one, that I’ll be a big, big impact on his life—but by August we broke up, and by May next year he found someone else. In the months in-between, he forgot AND fallen in love, while I was crying all day everyday. We were the closest of friends for four years. And he forgot just like that. He found someone else just like that. Kristin, I feel so easily replaceable. I feel troubled, I feel insecure. I feel like I’m not enough. I’m not artsy like her, can’t do make-up like her, can’t do graphic design for ****. Kristin, I feel like ****. Help. We weren’t a girlfriend, Kristin. But it hurts, it still hurts too much. Kristin, I don’t know what to do. I know what they’ll say—you’re 16, you’re young. But being young doesn’t mean you can’t love for real, does it? Do you still believe that he is indeed “the right person, but in the wrong time”? I sure hell do. I’m sorry for bringing him up again. I’m sorry. You’re probably angry at me, because I /am/ the one that got broken up with, and is the reason why he and I—why you and him—fell apart. I’m sorry for bringing him up again, for begging you to talk to him now. I just don’t know what else to do—who else to go to. Kristin, I’m scared. If only you can send an e-mail back reassuring that I’ll be fine, everything’s fine. I’m scared. I’m scared.