A letter from May 21st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, There are so many things that I could write to you about but right now I will only go over the things that I remember. Hopefully it wont be too long. Currently I've just finished with the last class of high school I will ever have. It feels somewhat bittersweet to finally be finished and knowing that there will no longer be the same stability as there was when going through high school. Though it's been months since I've actually been inside of Hinkley due to COVID-19 which put the world on lock-down. I never got to say goodbye to the school that has been part of my life for the last four years. I haven't been able to say goodbye to the teachers who've been most influential. I haven't experienced prom or walking across the stage at graduation and this all really sucks. I hope that by now though that these things that I haven't been able to do no longer matter to you. That you are in a better place than I am right now. My friends and I are still planning on going to my families cabin for a week over this summer. I really hope that we actually get to go since we've been planning this for the last 2 years. I know that you will probably have new friends where ever you end up but I also hope you remember your old ones as well since they have been such a huge part of your life throughout high school. If you haven't talked with them in awhile maybe you should try talking with them again to reconnect. Though they probably have their own lives separate from yours by now as well. I don't yet know what college I will go to. Right now my options are between UCCS and CU Denver. I don't really know which college I will go to especially since I can't really make up my mind on what I want to do yet. Though if I had to guess I am going to UCCS since I've gotten a 4 year scholarship to go there. If I were to go there I would probably go for business or teaching. By now I hope that you are doing well and that your relationship with your parents has improved because right now the relationship is going kinda rocky (not that they know that). Hopefully you're moved out of their house and are living on your own since that seems to be part of the problem. As of right now they do not yet know that you might be gender fluid or that you are pansexual. I hope that you have come out to them though I don't really think you will have because of their views on the LGBTQ+ community. Honestly I really just hope that you live to see this delivered. Things right now are going really hard and I really hope you make it through them. Nothing seems to be extremely wrong right now which makes feeling this way hard so I hope that in the future you have gotten help so that you don't have to feel this way anymore. Hopefully you have someone around who will be able to help you through the bad days you have. Now I'm not really expecting you to be in a relationship when you get this considering how relationships have gone in the past. I am hoping for one though. Hoping for a relationship that will last longer than a few months or a few years. If you are with someone though make sure they feel the same way about you as you feel about them because getting your heart broken isn't fun. This is probably the longest letter that I've written to anyone. Anyway I really hope that you are doing good. See you in 5 years, Shea.