A letter from May 21st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I'm writing to you now to let you know that I am alright. When you look back on your time in college and remember the stressful days or the days when you could've done this or that, hopefully this will remind you that even in the darkest times you have been given a gift from God that allows you to have peace of mind during struggles in your life and only through God can you obtain real peace within yourself. This is all very cheesy, I know. You're probably in a different mindset now. You have different ambitions while some you may have kept and even accomplished. I have no idea where you are or what you're doing now. But I know for a fact that I love you. It's a weird thing to say to yourself. A lot of people would think you were strange or self absorbed but the first step to loving someone else is to love the person that you chose to expose that someone to in the first place. Are you still with me? I know I ramble sometimes. My friend told me that it's because I get anxious and I overthink things sometimes (you know who I'm talking about). I hope you haven't stopped trying. I know I won't stop trying. I'll keep going every single day no matter how I'm feeling or how badly I want to be anywhere other than here. I miss the old days, just like I'm sure, as much as it was stressful for you, you miss these days as well. Change is something we've never been the best at coping with. I have two more years of school before it's time to move on with my life, something I'm jealous that you probably might have already done. I know I'm all over the place but you understand. You're me. Haha. I cannot stress this enough when I say this but if you're reading this in the middle of a heartbreak or a moment in your life when things might just be too much for you and it's weighing on your heart, just know that there will be days when you're gonna hear a funny joke and you'll have a great laugh with someone, there will be days when you hear your favorite song for the first time and it'll be the highlight of your week when you're driving down the road listening to it and your friends ask you the name of it. You're going to go on a trip with your friends and the night before you'll be up all night planning out your day in excitement. You'll experience a new level in your relationship with the Lord that you haven't experienced before and you'll be on your knees taking in as much of the moment as you possibly can because you had been searching your whole life for meaning and the moments that you have with the Lord will be the closest thing to achieving that feeling of wholeness. What I'm trying to say is: There is so much more to life than what you see in front of you and I hope you go out and see as much of it as you can. Did I make you cry yet? I would say that I'm trying my best to make that happen for you but really I'm just unloading a couple years worth of pent up anxiety on this page. I don't even know what you're doing right now but if I know me like I think I do you're using your time well and you're working your hardest no matter how you're feeling. Please take care of yourself. You're worth more than you think; to your family, your friends and to me...you. Love you buddy. PS: I just finished compositing animation for Jack's Big Idea and I'm about to start 3D rigging next semester so lemme know how the progression looks!