A letter from May 20th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Do you remember when you would take walks during quarantine just to get out or to let yourself breath? What about running up the stairs after turning the lights out.. is that still an active part of your life? I remember being so scared to start at Norco High when all I needed to do was let myself grow, I hope you don't still hold yourself back. Do you remember Tommy A.K.A Sam's Club Boy that's not really a boy? Did you find someone to fit up to his standards? If you haven't remember that the second time you saw him he was sweet and outgoing and joy filled his eyes. He can't grow a beard but he has a head full of hair. Did you get a guy with good standards? Is he smart, loves animals, is a goof but also incredibly intelligent but not too much he lacks social skills? Is he a musician or at least appreciates good music when he hears it? Are you going to be a psychologist as planned? Do you drink? Remember when alcohol was the forbidden choice? That's probably not the same five years later. Maybe when you read this you'll think "how naive 15 year old Jen was," I hope you do think that because that means I would have grown. I hope in 2025 I'm well off in college doing what I want to do. In 2025 I'll be 21 two days after FutureMe gets this, will Brandon take you to that piano bar like he promised? Do you still go to church? Do you have a boyfriend and have you talked to any of your exes? Is Shakespeare still important to you as well as poetry and sunsets? Is Dad still alive? What about Mom, Christian, and the girls? How are my beautiful girls? 2 days after you get this Karina turns 18. Wow in 2 days she turns 13 and I'm writing this here and now. Do me a favor and tell 18 Karina you love her. How many people have died in the five years between this letter and then? Am I alive? I hope so and I hope I live a great life. Do you remember kisses? How she would lay her head on your lap when you were doing homework? Or the thigh pics business that failed the first week? How about Jaylen Mans Turner or Alex or Grace or even Corenna? How are all of them? Did you give up and become a stripper? I wouldn't blame you if you did. Is there still a pandemic? Remember being stuck at home (this is day 67 of quarantine) and getting mad at Mom instead of Dad? Remember fixing your car with Dad? Is he still around or did his diabetes get to him? Did you get that tattoo you wanted of the 3 sunflowers representing you and the girls? Man I love those girls as if they were my own. Do you still play bass?I wonder if you still have Dally. Do you remember that hot guy in psychology with the good style and that was the only reason he was hot? It sucks he's gone... I always liked his jackets. I hope I grow up a lot between now and then. I hope I have more audacity and I really go for what I want instead of holding back. I hope I look for challenges and force myself to grow even if I'm not quite ready but ready enough I'll be okay. I hope I don't let anybody take advantage of me and I hope people are still somewhat kind. I hope Karina and Karlee don't fall off the wagon like their Dad did. Is he even alive still? Don't follow in his footsteps, also remember that promise you made November first 2020 to no longer self harm? Have you kept your promise? I hope so. Do you want kids? I know I don't really want any. Do you still want a one story house with a separate office and a pool and a nice kitchen with a beautiful tree in the front yard and a bench under it? Do you still have that 2002 Mustang? Mom would **** you if you got rid of it. Are you still friends with Jesse? He's a good friend. Have you played spin the bottle or been to a high school party or drank underage? I hope one day I can do all of those things. Have you kissed a boy irresponsibly and wound up in trouble? Or have you kissed someone and that was all you shared? No words or thoughts just your lips together? That wouldn't be so bad now would it? Now listen here soon to be 21 year old me: 2 days from now you will be allowed to do so many things legally and if you don't take responsibility for your actions you one way or another will suffer consequences. If you are still cooped up in your room every night starting tonight you need to stop! You are young and **** beautiful even if you don't believe it sometimes and you need to live the young life you have because you only have so many nights to have fun; live them all while you still have the chance. Now go out and party or get coffee at 2 am whatever tickles your pickle. See ya in five years. -Jen Montgomery ( 10:51pm Wednesday May 20, 2020) <3