A letter from May 18th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, It's been a whole month since Pudgey died. It seems so empty without her and I just want to see her again. However, I know that you are probably moved on, but would never forget her. Anyways, right now I'm dating Caitlyn and I'm still in the closet. I just want to be myself without having to constantly be afraid of losing my parents or them looking at me differently. Like, I'm still their daughter y'know? Kuya is still in the Air Force, living in England, married to Kuya Jack, and has a cat. School has been alright so far, I just haven't worked up the motivation to actually do my work ever since school shut down. Oh yeah, school is shut down because of corona. I hope that this pandemic is done in the future. I haven't seen any of my friends since March 13 because I have to social distance. I'm starting to get like a little crazy cause I miss my friends like Danica, Ava, The Titanic Swim Team, Chloe, Maggie, Alison, Nicole, Charlotte, and more people including my senior friend Maya which I don't even get to say goodbye to anymore. I'm really going to miss business class with her and listening to her stories about the boys she's talking to. I redid my room and it looks really cool. I'm practicing a guitar a lot because of all this extra time and I am really enjoying it. There is a part of me that really wants to go in the music career, but I'm scared because its really hard to be successful in that industry. However, besides from that I really don't know what to do in the future. I kinda want to get into ucsb, I heard that it is a really good school and also a party school. I am just imagining me and Danica going to CSUN and the UCSB and just partying. I can't wait to be college roommates with her :) Right now my relationship with Caitlyn is a bit rocky because we can't see each other because of the whole pandemic thing. I am also starting to question myself a lot. I had this dream the other day that I got back with my ex, Ken, because she moved over here and the reason why we broke up was because of the distance. I dont know what that means. I thought I was over her, but i guess not. I feel really bad for Caitlyn tho because I feel like I should be dreaming of her instead of Ken. Its been 2 months since Ken and I's break up so I don't know why I'm still so hung up on her. I feel bad for my cousins, Ate Danica, because she can't have the experience of a graduation, having a grad night, or having a debut. Anyways, I'm looking at my closet right now and I kinda want to spice of my wardrobe. I look through tik tok and I see all these people with fire outfits and I just wanna have their closet y'know? Enough about me, I wonder how you are rn. Are you a stripper? lmaooo jkjk, unless you are and you're making hella bank. I think by now I would've graduated high school! I hope high school was everything we hoped and dreamed, besides from like the school shooting on November 14, 2019 and this whole covid thing. Next year we can legally drink and go into clubs!!! How's mom and dad, are they still living at the house I'm in right now? Is Mako still with us, I hope he is, he's a very good doggo. Also, are we still idolizing Shay Mitchell? I hope so! Wouldn't Shay's baby be like 6 years old now? That's crazyyyyy! Are we still visiting the cousins a lot? How's Ate Maddy and Ate Danica? If you haven't talked to them in a while, TEXT OR CALL THEM RIGHT NOWWWW! I swear, If you ever lose communication with them, slap yourself right now. Anyways, I hope you're doing well! Have an amazing day!