A letter from May 18th, 2020

Dear Future Self, Whatever you're doing right now, stop. Go outside. Call Mom. Call Sophia. Take a deep breath. Look at your feet. Where are they right now? Look around you. Do you see nature? Do you hear birds? Take a moment and listen to their beautiful song. Do you feel the sunshine? You spent your whole childhood wishing to be society's beauty, but you are so much more. Life isn't a sprint, it's a long race and you're not in it just to win. Be gentle with yourself. Be messy sometimes. Let it all go. Embrace all your learnings and cherish your experiences. No one lives forever so be sure to cherish every moment. Some stuff is going to happen to you. You won't be able to plan for it, pencil it in your schedule for when it is good for you, or always have someone pick up the phone to guide you through it. You're going to have to just roll with it, take it in, learn lessons from it, and then carry on, head held high. Maybe journal on it-sometimes insights don't come quick, but there's something positive to be found from most experiences in life. Focus on that. You're going to have a lot of mantras throughout your life that are going to help you. Mantras-like people- will come and go in your life. And as much as you'd like to you can't hold on to them all. You best realize this now and just try and enjoy what you have in the present moment. Just because it passes doesn't mean it wasn't powerful or important. And you are not silly for believing in it. Please never stop holding on to hope. It will cause you pain, but it will also help you get through the days, excite you, and make you feel like your heart is a big thing of cotton candy. Do you still eat cotton candy? If so, go high-five that inner child we sometimes think is so silly. Just remember, everything that has happened has lead you to this moment. Don't change a thing. Everything worked out exactly as it should be. All the puzzle pieces fit, all the paths make sense. All the people were meant to be. All the successes and failures and heartwarming and heartbreaking moments were all worth it. No regrets. You were and are and have been and always will be yourself, and that's what matters above all.