A letter from May 18th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey you... Right now in this mindset you were thinking about how you are going to do it. Do what you may ask? life. living. Literally anything because it feels so pointless when all this life is, is who can die better. I feel crushed. The weight of everything known and unknown seems unimaginable. We tend to think a lot about how if other people have done it, then I could too... but why? Do we stick around for the pleasure of not displeasing those around us? Perhaps. Right now I feel not enough. I feel there is much more then this right now... There has to be right? There's always going to be that other side that balance of what more can we possibly not have... Seeing as though the option to send this letter in five years made me fairly emotional... I wish I could know you... The you now, the you reading this, because then maybe I would know that I am not so lost... I know you can't answer but, do you believe that everything happens for a reason? You are where you are for a reason? Is that what you have been taught? Is this a detrimental thought? Or perhaps a thought only given to those who have lost meaning... The process is frightening but somehow you've managed... It's possible. You've done what was once thought as, impossible Miss... I am so proud of you! Is that possible? To be proud of someone I know nothing of? Perhaps I will say that I am hopeful that I would be proud of you, and I also hope you are proud of you as is, right now. You are courageous and brave and have battled the most deadly of dragons and are stronger because of it. This story of yours, is yours alone... Maybe that's the reason to keep going. There may be millions of people out there writing their stories but nobody has your story. Nobody ever will... Now you've managed it and written page after page! Look at you grow... Now make it unique and make it you. Keep Going McKailey... Keep going and you will see that even the stars aren't the limit... I love you.