A letter from May 17th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're reading this from Earth and not heaven. If you're with the angels I just want to apologize for not asking for help sooner, I'm sure you're still here though. Because even though going between days is a current struggle I know that you know that you're beautiful and loved. I'm just going to share my insecurities and see how they've changed, I hope by this point I've had my braces and I've dropped the nickname "Buck-Tooth Betty" because that's pretty horrible aha. I hope I have learned to embrace my weight and learn that I'm pretty with and without abs. Currently, coronavirus has closed all schools and tbh I'm starting to miss my friends, every day is just a repeat, nothing special or different. I keep waiting for the day I'm allowed to go shopping and eat at bibble milkshakes because there's no better feeling in the world. I started a new TikTok account 3 weeks ago and I've already gained 3522 followers, did being famous ever work out for you? Even though I gain hate from it the amount of support and lovely fans I have is incredible. I know deep in my heart that those haters are probably going through something much more complicated than I know. But serious chat, currently I struggle with my mental health, I haven't told anyone yet because I don't think they'll believe me. I come across as so happy and bubbly but little do they know that beneath the surface is a whole different person who cries themself to sleep. I hope you fixed that and you're a happy person now. I hope you're achieving the dreams I once hoped for you, university at 17, or you're taking the gap year traveling and working along the way. You should already be planning to move to France and have your villa there. But if life didn't quite work out that way then it's fine, God always has a plan for you. All I can hope for is that you lived life to the fullest. I don't know who you ended up staying friends with but I hope you ditched the toxic ones, I don't know how your relationship with Ruth worked out due to lack of classes together but if we aren't friends anymore my challenge for you is to meet up, to rekindle that friendship you once loved. I can't believe that when you read this you will be 18, all grown up and left home (hopefully). I can't wait for my reaction when this enters my inbox, I will have probably forgotten by then. How are Niamh and Daniel? By this point, Niamh will be 16 and Daniel 13, did they achieve the things they wanted? I challenge you to spend a whole day with Niamh doing the things SHE wants, and maybe you can play some sport with Daniel if he's not out with the many friends I'm sure he has. I can only plead that you have STOPPED straightening your hair, it will be a fried mess by the age of 30. Maybe you have learned to tame those wild waves you have. Tbh I don't think people understand how hard it is to be a teenage girl, the only things that keep me here are the people and the future, looking at myself in the mirror makes me want to cry but I know you LOVE yourself now. Okay, love life now, by this point you've had 3 boyfriends ( Brodie, Reece, and Jock) I hope you gave it a try with Peter because he's a lovely boy who I think you may have a slight crush on. How is stuff going with the Ferrero's, we visited them last February in Switzerland and it was so nice to see them all again, Rebecca loved you. Maybe stuff worked out and maybe it didn't, but whatever happened the summers we spent together were magical. I can only hope that you visited LPO again, this year (2020) we probably won't bc of corona but maybe we got there in 2021. If not I challenge you to visit it in the upcoming year despite your money struggles. Okay, I'm currently awaiting 3 tops from Shein which I'm delighted for, I hope your closet is a designer's dream. Okay, bye for now, LOVE yourself, you're amazing and gorgeous. LOVE YOU FROM 2020 ELLA MULLIGAN. XXXXX