A letter from May 17th, 2020

Dear Future me, I hope this is finding you well. I cant even imagine where you are right now! What I'm really hoping is that this finds you as an early uprising actress, because I know you have it in you. Don't ever forget how bad you want it because currently, I want it more than anything. I want to be am actress so bad I dream about it. I want it so bad I lie awake thinking about it. I want it I am already stressing about it. I practice for it in the shower, in the mirror, and when I'm home alone. I WANT IT SO BAD! So if this finds you, and you're not trying to make this happen anymore, or you gave up, WHAT ARE YOU DOING????? Grace, you want this so bad. Don't let your fear take over and crush the thing that fuels your soul. YOU CAN DO IT! Do it for the 18 year old you, writing you this letter, with the whole world in front of her, praying and wishing everyday for it to come true. Prove everyone wrong. Prove to everyone in your school and around you that they underestimated you. That you were destined for greatness because YOU A BAD ***** Grace!!!! Think of HORRIBLE Nolan Adsit and prove him wrong. Think of HORRIBLE Drew Jeffery and prove him wrong. But more importantly, prove everyone who supported you and loved you RIGHT! Prove Mama, Papa, Ellie, Lily, Peyton, Gracie, Amelia, your grandparents, and a HUGE list of other who believed in you, right. I believe in you. One of you're biggest weaknesses is that you don't believe in yourself. LIVE FEARLESS! I also hope this letter finds you in love, or at least you have been in the past. I can tell you that currently, I'm 18, and STILL haven't had a boyfriend. I hope you have/had found someone who makes you happy, gives you attention (let's face it, you and I both know we love attention of any form), challenges you, appreciates you, gives you those butterflies we always get when we watch a romantic movie, and appreciates you for you. Make sure you give your boo the same thing in return though. Make sure you give him just as much attention, love, compassion, care for him, tell him he's handsome, love him for his personality and not just his looks, be spontaneous, go on fun dates, go on random adventures, haven fun, also be able to be serious, be loyal, but DON'T let him boss you around or do "women's responsibilities" if you don't want to because you're a strong *** independent woman and you can do whatever the hell you want. If you don't currently have a boyfriend though it's okay because you have been ******* it up for 18 years all on your own, I know you can keep doing it. Currently, I'm writing this to you in the midst of the Corona Virus. It's 2:26 am on Sunday May 17th 2020. So currently, we are still waiting to find out if our in person Graduation scheduled for August 9th is going to happen. I am PRAYING to god it does. If it doesn't I am going to be devastated. Also I have my AP Psych exam on Tuesday and i'm kinda stressed because I haven't been studying, but at the same time I don't really care, It's kinda bad about hoe bad I don't care about my grades or school anymore. You probably remember but Cambridge switched to pass/fail for grades, so as long as I get at least a 60% in all my classes, I will graduate and it wont affect my GPA. I want you to do me a favor. Just for a minute. I want you to remember how hard this time was. How every part of Senior year of high school you were looking forward to was ripped away from you. remember how you spend your last day of school complaining about it and calling it stupid. Remember that, that was the last thing you said in that school, because that weekend you got the email saying you would never go back. Remember how sad and dead it was when you went to clean out your locker, like there was unfinished business and goodbyes not been able to be said floating in the air. Remember how you weren't able to see your friends for months. Remember how you didn't get to go to choir again. You didn't get to go to show choir anymore or forensics. Remember how the moments you have been waiting for your whole life like walking in your cap and gown in the elementary school, singing and holding hands with your best friends in choir while you sing grad songs and cry because you realized just how lucky you were to have them in your life and you're going to miss them like crazy, or having those really special last day talks with your teachers and friends. Remember how hard this was for the class of 2020. Nothing worked out the way you hoped, and It was horrible and sad and heartbreaking and devastating... Now, remember how you got through it? Remember how even though this crushed your soul, you got back up and stood tall? Remember how even though this was hard you persevered and came out of it a better and stronger person? Later down the road, you can tell your kids how you were the class of 2020, The class that persevered through a nation-wide pandemic. Grace, you have been faced with a lot of adversity in your life. You have been through hell and back, but I TRULY believe that god gave us this life because we are strong enough to handle it. So why waste it? I know this is quite long so I will end this soon, but I want to end with a piece of advice that I hope you're still following. Life is too short to live it afraid. You need to live fearless. You better still remember the quote we love from Will Smith. I don't remember the exact quote but essentially, everything you ever want is on the other side of fear. Don't let the fear get the best of you like it always has in the past. You let opportunities and experiences pass you by because you're too scared, but what good does that do? Grab life by the balls and go get what you want and what makes you happy. Fear is going to do nothing for you but drag you down and give you an unhappy, unsatisfied life. Be special. Be great. BE YOU! ps: Please find confidence and love yourself. The almost 18 year old girl who is sitting and writing this is rooting for you, make her proud! xoxo, -Grace (past you)