A letter from May 15th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey joslyn, its joslyn but only that im 12 years old. ive never been good at this kind of stuff and i probably wont get better in the future. lets get a little more serious here... i hope im still alive to be able to read this. my mom and jesus are always talking about having kids and going to college but all i can think about is " i dont want to do those things, better yet i dont think im gonna live long enough to do those things." every single day... im fighting depression, anxiety, stress, and the worse of them all, anger. these days i do things just out of pure anger. 5 years from now i dont want me to be the person i just described above. i want the person reading this to be the person everyone loves. the person everyone can confine too. to be honest, i dont want to live anymore. i would have ****** myself a long time ago i just dont have the guts to do it. Just thinking about ***** scares and gives me anxiety. I dont everyone to mourn a person who took there life out of pity. I know these people who are in my life love me very much, but ive been uncapable to love anymore you can thank nicholas for that from now on i want you to be careful of your surroundings and careful of the people you hang out with and the people you trust. lets talk about something more subtle.... in 2020 jan 10 jose armando lara asked me out i said yes. it is may 15 when i write this to you and on that note me and armando have been dating for 5 months the best months of my life. i just cant picture us breaking up.... i bet thats what you thought i would say. idk how to describe our relationship.... but honestly i would prefer to be just friends, i dont want to hurt him like he hurt me.... ok lets just stop with this depressing talk. 5 YEARS FROM NOW I WANT YOU TO STILL BE A WEEB, AND I WANT EVERYONE TO ACCEPT THAT IF THEY DONT MAKE THEM. anime is the only thing these days keeping me sane. i am also starting to read manga along with yaoi. lets end this on a happy note... my mom is only 5 months away from giving birth to eli cruz my new baby brother. theres so many things i want to say but just cant put into words... from joslyn victoria garcia, may. 15. 2020 xoxo stay alive~