A letter from May 13th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hi! Ummm I don't really know what to say. Im currently at our grandma's house on May 13, 2020! Jaylon's officially passed away a year ago last week. Do you still remember him? Im really only close to about 3 people right now: Brooke, Amayra, and Na'Zariah. Are we still cool with them? Amayra and I plan on staying friends our whole lives and growing old together and have our kids be besties and stuff. Are we even still cool with her? Im 5'9 right now, and weigh about 145lbs. I don't really like my body all that much. Do I stop growing? Do I ever gain weight? I love myself a lot... but my own love isn't enough. Have we found someone yet? Have we been in love yet??? I worry about my future A TON! Did we get into a good college?? You should be about to turn 20... was highschool fun?? Right now I want to move to texas! Heard living is cheap. Im not very happy with life, currently getting past my body dysmorphia, have TERRIBLE anger issues, bad anxiety, and am a little depressed. Are we happy yet? I really do doubt I live to be 20. I probably shouldnt say this (wouldnt wanna manifest my own *****), but I feel as if this world just isn't good enough for me. No one seems to think like me, or love like me, or be like me. Do we ever stop feeling like this?? Right now I am in quarantine and those ****** hornets just got here like a week ago. Does the corona end? Do we all die? Do all the ****** hornets die?? You KNOW I hate bugs. Oh and right now, I loathe Tonya and Iyonah. They're probably the two worst people to be around. Do ever stop hating them?? Do Iyonah and I get close? Does she ever get normal?? Oh and Alexis is currently struggling with life. She has a gallbladder infection, is about to move to texas, and her car sucks. Does she ever get her **** together? Something in me feels like shes not going to make it... I havent told the universe this but life has been to chill for me lately, I feel as if something bad may be coming. Of course the bad thing won't be too bad, everything is to benefit me. Oh! I currently also have a crush on Rico. I know we used to talk a while ago... but I still like the dude. What the hell happens with that?? And just some follow up questions: Do Tonya and Dad stay together? Do I ever learn to drive? Do I get a job? Do I turn out to be just like Alexis? Does my dad or Alexis ever learn to be less selfish? Do my ***** grow some more? Is my hair long yet? Is my skin clear? DO YOU WEAR YOUR RETAINER? Does dad ever buy us a car? Do I stop being mean? Do I stop being short tempered? Last but not least: Am I even alive?? OKAYY THATS IT! This **** is already longggg! I love you! Its gonna be a while but... I hope you do great things; you're all ive ever had. Bye bye! Sincerely, Alivia Brown