A letter from May 13th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hi Sofia, at this point in your life you should be a recent college graduate pursuing your graduate degree. Let me tell you right now life is a bit of shambles. Your sister still doesn't reach out to you, you've met the baby, and I hope there are many of those visits to come. She's busy, but you keep saying that excuse. She is your sister, not some stranger. You currently have a deep struggle with your body, every time you look at your body, you are legitimately repulsed by your reflection, who can like someone who looks like that? I hope that you learn to love your body and take steps to further your health. Graduation is cancelled, senior year is gone, although many are sad, you strangely are composed. Maybe because you never truly connected with the peers you have met in your grade. I'm so excited for you to start your chapter at TCNJ, and i hope you made the most of it, going out, making memories, creating life long bonds, meeting boys, and obviously doing well in school. Currently you are a stupid teenage girl who is obsessed (in deep like) with Chase :) I hope to god you've moved on at this point because get a grip sweetie, know your worth. He sends you mixed signals, but when you get that glimpse it is truly something else. Your heart really does skip a beat 😊 . But I know you deserve better. Someone who expresses their desire for you, and treats you like you deserve. Not some ****** boy who reaches out when it's convenient for him.(Ugh, ****. When he does it's amazing, and your stupid simp *** self responds every god **** time. pls gain some SELF CONTROL BABY) I think you have it engraved in your brain that you do not deserve it. Constantly you have viewed yourself as ugly, compared yourself and obsessed over how you don't fit in. Especially in your town, being a minority in an all white town has really down wonders for your confidence and mental well being. Please just try to go easy on yourself, it is draining to constantly bring yourself down. I hope you are happy. So filled with joy it hurts, constantly looking forward to the next part of your life, and living it to the absolute fullest. I love you, and I know it may not seem like it at times, but I really do. See you soon.