A letter from May 12th, 2020

Dear Me, I write this for the future me in five years. Wow five years right? Five years feels like forever, so far away, who knows if ill even make it that far in my life?, if you're wondering, yes we are sad. So very very sad. Our days seem darker than any other day we have been through, our clothes are getting darker, our hair is getting shorter. (I hope we don't still cut our hair every mental breakdown we have) You are 20, if you make it and you are reading this, you will be 25. Currently, it's 3:30pm, you're laying on your bed, the window behind you slightly open, hoping the fresh air will make you feel more human, like you have done something today by opening the window? Crazy how something so basic as opening the window makes us feel more complete and put together. Yes, you guessed it, our hair is short, cut with the same scissors you have looked at for a realise but couldnt bring yourself to do so. I hope we are better. Our heart is full with something more than self-hate and negative feelings? Our heart is full with positive thoughts, love. Love, i hope we love ourself. i hope we have someone who loves us? Sam? i wonder if he is still in our life, he is the only thing that makes us feel like we are worth being here. More importantly, i hope we are at peace, our mind is silent and steady, the world makes sense, it's not some big, unfamiliar place that we are lost inside. I love you. And i hope we read this. Yours truly, Me.