A letter from May 12th, 2020

Dear future me, Hello. Right now it is 3:14 am on a Tuesday morning. Recently I've attempted to become a bit more introspective in my life, and I hope that can help me write this letter. There's a pandemic going on right now. I've been pretty depressed the past few weeks after breaking up with Sam. I've lost a lot of motivation and have gotten lethargic in my everyday activities. I'm relying too much on weed for my mental health. I didn't get high tonight though so that's a start. In five years, I hope that I am more selfless. I'm trying my best to listen more. I try to be aware of how much I talk about myself and how many questions I ask other people about their lives. I'm grateful for my friends. I know that they want to be better people, and that motivates me to be a better person as well. I love them. You've graduated college, if I've done this math correctly. Congratulations! I am so proud of you. Graduating college is an incredible thing, and YOU did it! Four years of hard work and partying, and you're here. That's ******* amazing. What did you get your degree for? Psychology? Film? Marketing? I have no idea what I want my career to be, and that scares me. I know everyone says that it will all work out in the end, but what if it doesn't? My biggest fear is to have lived an unfulfilling life, stuck in an office job that I hate. I really don't want that to happen. Why are we here? What is this "world" that we live in? Who ******* knows. I don't know what the hell we're doing here or what this simulation is that we're living in, but you better be making it the most god**** beautiful creation ever. You contribute to whatever this is. You matter. Stop hoping for the future and dwelling on the past, you are HERE. Appreciate what you have and appreciate where you are. You've gotten so far. Be present, be in the moment, because that is where you are right now. Be grateful for what you have, and be happy with where you are in this moment because when it comes time for "even better" moments in the future, there will be a euphoric feeling. **** HOPE. You are so beautiful. I can't even imagine what I'll look like in five years, with my brain almost developed. Have you gotten surgery to fix your legal blindness yet? I want to go through life trying my best to be a genuinely good person. I understand that it is impossible to actually BE a good person, but I will try my hardest. I want to give back and help people. I want to bring positivity to the world. I want to acknowledge the negative people in my life and give them the benefit of the doubt. I want to live my life freely and fully, doing the things that make me happy. I think being rich would be nice and give me great opportunities to be happier, but I'd like to be able to live a life as an adult that is fulfilling regardless of money. I want to be able to be happy living in a ****** apartment with my friends, working a fun job, and maintaining good mental health. Even as an old witchy lady. I'm not going to give advice to you, seeing as you are 23 years old and I need to mind my own business. BUT, I just want to say that I hope you are fulfilled in your life right now and are accomplishing great things, because I know you can. Once again, **** hope. You've got this. Love, Veronica