A letter from May 12th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, You found this on TikTok one night. Your boyfriend Joe is laying right besides you sleeping with rain music on and the fan blasting. Your probably going to put on a podcast like No Jumper to fall asleep in a few hours. You have work tomorrow. Your working and Tuesday Morning with your manager being Eric. Charger is asleep in his bed and it’s a pretty relaxed night. Now that you know what life is like as I’m writing this, I’ll give you what your hopes and dreams are right now. You so desperately want to leave TM. I hope by the time your reading this, that you have. I hope that your making a lot more than $13 an hour and if your not, well then get your **** together. I hope that you have gotten married to Joe by now. Lord knows right now with seeing all your “friends” getting engaged that your antsy about it. I hope that he’s either taken you down the aisle or at least is planning too. It’ll be your guys 3 year anniversary in a few days as I am writing this. I hope it will be one you remember. I hope that dad is doing better. He’s got his girlfriend Maggie right now and he’s out in Arizona working. A few months earlier he was really struggling mentally. I hope that by now he’s gotten his goals set and doing something about them. I hope he’s healthy and taking care of himself. Your grandparents are doing good. Enjoying Fawna and Moses and of course Charger. They are keeping in due to the Covid-19 but grandma is still working her little butt off. Grandpa is at home doing his retired thing. They are both dreaming about going to Texas still. I hope that your there already. Soaking up the Texas sun and living in a beautiful home. Shelby just graduated college and is planning on going to Texas in the fall. I hope she makes it big there. I hope she finds a man and makes a beautiful life for herself. I hope she still doesn’t blame herself for everything that’s happened these past few years. I hope she’s happy. I hope she’s still apart of your life. I hope you never let her go because she’s been one of the most constant people in your life besides family. She’s your sister and always will. She saved your life and you saved hers. I hope you know what you want out of life besides a husband and kids and nice home and cars. I hope you decided if your gonna go back to college or not. At this moment you don’t want to because you don’t know what you wanna do. I hope that you find your purpose in this world and find something that you love. I want to remind you that whatever hardships your going through right now, don’t mean anything in the big schemes of things. I’m sure 5 years ago, I was stressing about things that seemed like the end of the world, but obviously their not because you can’t remember them. Always always always remember that things happen for a reason. And to not stress. Stress does nothing to help a situation. Absolutely nothing. And remember to tell everyone you care about that you love them. You never know when they can be gone. I sure hope no one you love is gone by now but still. I hope that you’ve found your worth and forgiven everything that has ever happened to you. I hope that you completely come to terms with everything with Brandi. She doesn’t deserve for your tears or worries or anything. She doesn’t deserve your anger. Hopefully by now you’ve met baby Ashton. Hopefully you see and talk to your siblings more. Right now it’s hard because your still trying to figure out how to adult lol Honestly shocked that I am writing this. Not exactly sure what to write. Just spit balling here. Not even gonna go back and reread it all. It’ll be hard not to, but ****. It’ll be better that way. That way when you read this, it will really be all new. Today you were told your not gonna go anywhere in life by a customer. Hopefully when you read this you can giggle and say **** you because you have gone somewhere. Your favorite food at the moment is bacon wrapped jalapeño poppers. Your obsessed with Dutch Bro’s. Your listening to HU again because why not lol You’ve just started fake tanning and are planning on getting your first tattoo on your 20th birthday this year. Your favorite color is red and you just successfully cut your own hair, drunk while Shelby laughed and cheered you on. Not much else is going on in your life at the moment. Hopefully you still have your **** together enough to have the same email and read this lol But just know at the moment you kind of love yourself. Your trying. Hopefully you love yourself more in 5 years. -your past self