A letter from May 11th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey. What’s up?? How are you? Right now it’s May 11, 2020 at 4:52AM and I’m writing you this in hopes that things are better for you then they are right now. I’ve been crying all night again for some reason. Let me refresh your memory about where you were on this day 5 years ago. You’re 22 years old, no job, not in school because you couldn’t afford tuition, a suspended license because you couldn’t afford to pay your tickets, and sleeping on a futon in your bestfriends room. You don’t really have anyone right now, except maybe a few friends. You and your dad haven’t talked in a few years now since he left you 1000 miles away from your home and told you to figure out how to get back on your own, and you and your mom were on the rocks. You have been for awhile though, ever since she kicked you out of the house with no where to go based on a lie and rumor in our little small town. It’s been really hard to ever be close again with her after that. I hope that’s all changed. I hope you and mom are the closest you’ve ever been, and she doesn’t hate you anymore. I hope you forgave dad, even though he doesn’t deserve it. I don’t know if that will happen if he’s still with his terrible girlfriend, but I can have hope. Who’s gonna walk you down the aisle one day if you don’t? But then again, if he hasn’t apologized to you yet for what he’s done to you, I hope you’re happy with your decision to never speak to him again. Well here I am crying again. I hope you’re happy now. I hope you took the job offer in Arizona and I hope it ended up being the best decision of your life. I hope you have your own gorgeous apartment now and arent basically homeless anymore. I hope you’re still in good health. I hope you lost weight like you said you wanted to for months. I hope you have all your debt paid off and have lots of money now. But remember with the money to remain humble and remember where you came from, because you came from barely anything. I hope you’re in a relationship now, and I hope he makes you the happiest you’ve ever been. I hope it’s nothing like past relationships. I hope he doesn’t hit you like others, I hope he’s patient and kind to you on the days you need it the most. I hope he loves you as much as the love you give people. Don’t take him for granted. Maybe you have kids now? That would be crazy!! If you do, I hope no matter what, that they’re perfectly healthy. I hope you’re the mom you always wanted to be, and I hope and pray that you have the perfect family that you’ve always wanted, but could never have growing up. Things are tough right now, but I have hope that they’ll get better. It’s been a rough 4 years, it’s got to get better at some time, right? If you remember back to April 1, 2020 about a month and few weeks ago, you were having an absolute meltdown in your bestfriends bathroom, and looked in the mirror and told yourself that you were ending your life on May 1, 2020 if things didn’t get better. You got the Arizona job offer in mid April and you’re still here today writing this, and now reading it. So I really hope you got over the fears of moving and I hope it worked out great. I hope you aren’t in the mental state you were now. I hope you’re genuinely happy now, for once. I love you, I love you, I love you. You’re gorgeous, and you’re strong. You have been through literal hell and back and I promise no matter where you’re at in life on this day, it could never be worse than where you’re at while I’m writing this. You’re at rock bottom, and it can only go up from here. You’re an amazing person and I hope you have an amazing life finally to match that. Oh yeah, before I go, hows abbey?? She’s your bestfriend right now. She’s letting you sleep in her room so you don’t have to be homeless outside. She’s a great person, so I hope you two are still bestfriends. She’s the only person that has ever been “your person”. I’m watching greys anatomy right now so maybe I’m just doing too much. Lol, well this is getting long, so I’ll go. But I hope you’re doing great things. I love you. Love, past you.