A letter from May 11th, 2020

Dear FutureVal, I hope your life is everything you’ve ever dreamed of now. I hope I’m still in it and if not just know that I miss you everyday! I hope when you read this you can look back and smile because we had great times! I hope I didn’t break your heart and I hope you didn’t break mine. I can only hope for the best and hope that when you’re reading this you can turn and kiss me bc I’ll be next to you! But if I’m not because we know it’s a possibility just know that I love you like I’ve never loved before! In you, I found myself, I realized that standing up for myself is a must! You helped me see what true love meant! I know that when I want something I have to fight for it! And if I don’t fight hard enough I make sure it’s worth it. Baby you were worth every tear I cried and every smile you put on my face! You still are worth everything and so much more! Today is May 10, 2020, we are barely getting over the pandemic!!!! I think we are at a good place today and I hope we stay that way! I was thinking earlier maybe she doesn’t feel the same way..maybe she doesn’t love me enough. Sometimes I wish I could fast fwd 5 years from now and find us not in a love triangle but together with a family...but then I don’t know if I really want that bc I know you’re not sure. It’s hard because I have given up so much and not because you’ve asked bc you never asked anything of me But God I was so willing All you had to do is ask But maybe you didn’t know that well enough I don’t think you’ll ever understand how hard I choose or chose to love you and I won’t ever regret you God bless you and if I’m not beside you just know that I never forgot you! I pray for you every night! I miss you mostest hermosa! I love you so much it hurts val! Always head over heels in the moment with you. Xoxo Ashley Nicole