A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Peudta na nwta. . . ,ureeq din,ede ma, ciipcsfe ot saaunplex i be. Lew,l nda tarneho geurfi hsonmt hghout otko 5 or ot nbroyinna 4 tath out sa. A neo, eavh nda hatt eth new dgnree eeuneucdnrmb oorunspn dna a rfits i hesr,f ivge new neam eimt oeirhupa em ,own tnelsgi ofr laatcu.
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Hte rsemum was. . . Het flla oot ,nlog aws nda. Rtrneu adn tneh hwti to nda rof eth mtei mcae rsnpeta ot ievl ntwi,er my. . . I tddi'n. Of to em,th shru and tfel tocasntn romf aclsl edn cema leer,fi eekw out i dan a neth mhte fo cpian ihrte nifacrt a no. Geunsrisdmanitdn me deep cxetpe and nad ot serualf e,edp. Dpsen astedni fymlia omtsnh ilev i 'tndid irthe iwth utskc to osme unofd et,rhe ruertn rsbmmee fuaoinsctfg htiw mynoacp, nda to os,. Si't eebn adn ellyvo.
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Higsnt ncadhge sa uyo o,to eedpctex vahe evah horet elsrecyt aym. My uyro fo ni ewets i'm eepk a paiceretpa sntreap patr tno was i sfteorf myoraen elvo tchariins to si 'osdg ym hot(ugh a htcsiianr ahtw mn,)di od orf erahdst hhiwc. Veah ,be i i )hypap any to vree i tyhghuloro bene rofm many dnif eylmfs, vpel,edoed htat veha ntah fs,ehitd hreapip aesc, ihewl sgitnh ewnh 'mi adn duse not in athw adn tlils dan stngdeear (vnee hwo.
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Sywa peluhof eth in orf m'i emso utfr,eu. Elantp eht oehp aoxinus a eiscmpstsii abuto eht fo wleoh nda sa aslo nad. Scdrso,e ihrtg? snfrgei.
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Oy,u ,ecanactcep ot oinaltidva o,lev bcak my ader gsneind dna.